tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11112292849774765112024-02-20T20:22:10.290-08:00The WriteRunner<i>Writing Advice for Writers on the Run.</i>
<br><br>
This is the home for author Andrew Rosenberg.<br>
Writing is like a marathon that you never seem to finish...or maybe one you never <i>want</i> to finish.Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-11464500564777417682016-10-30T15:20:00.002-07:002016-10-30T15:27:47.040-07:00NaNoWriMo 2016 -- Dead World 2: War World<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Introducing my NaNoWriMo 2016 Project:</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOf0ViJIrWcUZ5qM7R4f04gCmgkEUKz-2f9xVwPsreEd43wq10TOojo4avGllvIHqwVwaskcoyODFv2OkEcrNZwEHlKPPH0jthiKV2TiemBPdn5FTly9x82wK1ShnrqfwhvyRzxRXiQSRc/s1600/War+World+Cover.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOf0ViJIrWcUZ5qM7R4f04gCmgkEUKz-2f9xVwPsreEd43wq10TOojo4avGllvIHqwVwaskcoyODFv2OkEcrNZwEHlKPPH0jthiKV2TiemBPdn5FTly9x82wK1ShnrqfwhvyRzxRXiQSRc/s640/War+World+Cover.png" width="489" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">War World-NaNoWriMo 2016</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Honey<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> the Viperfly is back! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">This time, she's featured in her own story. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In NaNo 2014's <i>Dead World 1,</i> (<b>spoiler alert</b>) Honey ends up to Liveside in her original human form, but life isn't what it used to be, especially for a soul who's still technically deceased. When she finds an undead thing can never have a family, life loses its former luster. So she throws herself into the military, continuing the martial existence she had in Dead World.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Of course, the Army is delighted to have one of the 33 known undead in their ranks, studying her kind to see what kind of weapon the undead can be. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But the Army isn't the only ones studying Honey. There's a new kind of Wraith out there, beings not of corruption, but of blood and gunsmoke. When Honey disrupts their plans to bring a new war to Liveside, they</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> arrange an ambush.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Honey's fully dead once again, but this time, she's not in Dead World. She's in yet another afterlife, full of warriors and their victims, plunged into the greatest war the world has never known.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Welcome to <i>War World</i>.</span>Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-23272575662711581762016-10-30T15:20:00.000-07:002016-10-30T15:20:28.488-07:00NaNoWriMo 2016 -- Dead World 2: War World<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Introducing my NaNoWriMo 2016 Project:</span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOf0ViJIrWcUZ5qM7R4f04gCmgkEUKz-2f9xVwPsreEd43wq10TOojo4avGllvIHqwVwaskcoyODFv2OkEcrNZwEHlKPPH0jthiKV2TiemBPdn5FTly9x82wK1ShnrqfwhvyRzxRXiQSRc/s1600/War+World+Cover.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOf0ViJIrWcUZ5qM7R4f04gCmgkEUKz-2f9xVwPsreEd43wq10TOojo4avGllvIHqwVwaskcoyODFv2OkEcrNZwEHlKPPH0jthiKV2TiemBPdn5FTly9x82wK1ShnrqfwhvyRzxRXiQSRc/s640/War+World+Cover.png" width="489" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">War World-NaNoWriMo 2016</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Honey<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> the Viperfly is back! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">This time, she's featured in her own story. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In NaNo 2014's <i>Dead World 1,</i> (<b>spoiler alert</b>) Honey ends up to Liveside in her original human form, but life isn't what it used to be, especially for a soul who's still technically deceased. When she finds an undead thing can never have a family, life loses its former luster. So she throws herself into the military, continuing the martial existence she had in Dead World.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Of course, the Army is delighted to have one of the 33 known undead in their ranks, studying her kind to see what kind of weapon the undead can be. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But the Army isn't the only ones studying Honey. There's a new kind of Wraith out there, beings not of corruption, but of blood and gunsmoke. When Honey disrupts their plans to bring a new war to Liveside, they</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> arrange an ambush.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Honey's fully dead once again, but this time, she's not in Dead World. She's in yet another afterlife, full of warriors and their victims, plunged into the greatest war the world has never known.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Welcome to <i>War World</i>.</span>Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-64830900703869563762014-10-12T18:27:00.002-07:002014-10-12T18:27:22.858-07:00NaNoWriMo 2014: World War W<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgePLjwpkCPRQpPfHSdx4Mv7AIFJaoee3NQFwM5OvcoPt1jJQi09FoB2o9v8gGDjq1NoxUWhEGvzshdkI11a3DQexzhA6SZRlhbg77pnnjGAKW87i0AQYAwBK-mMtrVhps_qu8zu6EmVQS8/s1600/WWW+Logo+NaNo+big.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgePLjwpkCPRQpPfHSdx4Mv7AIFJaoee3NQFwM5OvcoPt1jJQi09FoB2o9v8gGDjq1NoxUWhEGvzshdkI11a3DQexzhA6SZRlhbg77pnnjGAKW87i0AQYAwBK-mMtrVhps_qu8zu6EmVQS8/s1600/WWW+Logo+NaNo+big.png" height="64" width="320" /></a></div>
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The idea for this year's <a href="http://nanowrimo.org/" target="_blank">NaNoWriMo </a>came to me one cold January day, sitting in panel discussion at <a href="http://rustycon.com/" target="_blank">RustyCon</a>, when I wrote these 3 words down in my "idea file" on my iPhone:<br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">War on Women.</span></i><br />
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It was just an idea at the time, the classic "What if?" statement: What if there was an actual, literal War on Women? With soldiers and armies and everything?
Sure, it's a crazy idea. But I think that's the perfect realm for Science Fiction. Let's explore the What If's and see where they lead. A concept leads to thoughts which leads to debates where leads to...<br />
<br />
So as I'm developing and researching this concept, a couple things happen.<br />
<br />
First, we have the killing spree at SBCC. Idiot wrote a manifest--a fairly honest accounting of his chilling belief system. Great insights into hatred and those thought patterns.
Then as of late there's been another concept going around called "<a href="http://www.femitheist.net/" target="_blank">The Ratio</a>", which is the idea that mankind would be better off without men. The Ratio would reduce males to 10% of the population.<br />
<br />
Now we can just laugh these things off as the rants of haters, but let's bring the What If? to bear again...what if these kinds of people somehow got into power? Look at Hitler. By all measures he was a small man, but he rallied a country around a central concept: racial purity leading to world domination.<br />
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Is it really that far-fetched that someday, haters could come into power again and cast the world into turmoil?<br />
<br />
Take a world like ours, but one in which tension between the sexes has grown to the point of conflict that explodes into war. Into this world throw in some young adults, those with little stake in the conflict but feeling every cut of it, and now my concept has grown into a full-on novel, a YA SF Dystopia.<br />
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I now present to you my NaNoWriMo 2014 Novel Concept, which I call<br />
<b><br /></b>
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<b><b><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #990000; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">World War W</span></b></b></div>
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<br />
It probably the most ambitious project I've ever undertaken, but maybe the most meaningful.<br />
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<i>Coming Soon...The World War W NaNo Cover!</i><br />
<br />Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-68111878722446097792012-07-23T07:09:00.001-07:002012-07-23T07:09:37.113-07:00Dead Air Pitch<p>Here’s the pitch I used for Dead Air at the <a href="http://www.pnwa.org/displaycommon.cfm?an=5" target="_blank">2012 PNWA Conference</a>. I only pitched 1 agent and 2 editors because I used most of my time to pitch <em>Girl | Alien</em>. One of the editors requested a full manuscript. I’m probably going to send it out to more agents and editors at some point. </p> <p>We had 3 minutes to pitch our stories, so that gave us about 60 seconds to give the pitch. (Note this is <em>not</em> a query letter and should not be read as such). Here it is: <blockquote> <p>Hi, I’m Andrew (or some such greeting). I’ve written a Contemporary Mystery called <em>Dead Air</em>. It’s complete at 75,000 words.</p> <p>Archie is the sole caretaker of his mother who, after horrible accident that also killed Archie’s father, has been left bedridden and her brain is a little scrambled. But she’s a former lead homicide detective.</p> <p>Archie comes across a dead body and the only witness is a blind teenager who claims the room was filled with “dead air”, although forensics doesn’t find a thing. He enlists the help of his mother in hopes that an investigation will bring her back to life.</p> <p>During the investigation Archie’s car is sabotaged with “dead air” and goes out of control into the bay, Archie barely escapes with his life. When he returns to his mom, she suddenly remembers that the wreck that killed his father was very similar—and also may have involved “dead air”. They find that a string of murders going back ten years may be linked to this substance. They must find the killer before he strikes again.</p></blockquote> <p>I’m not super happy with it, and the agents/editors had some questions. Basically my issue is that there are really 2 stories—the mystery, and Archie’s relationship with his mother and how that evolves. I was able to explain it better when they started asking questions, that the story is really about a family trying to piece things together after tragedy strikes, and to try to find justice for Archie’s father’s death.</p> <p>And now here’s the calling card for Dead Air: (phone # redacted when I dumped to JPG, not a typo).</p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-HFMfEArYZOc/UA1bG3jFydI/AAAAAAAACSw/geBfzqzD9uE/s1600-h/dead%252520air%252520biz%252520card%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="dead air biz card" border="0" alt="dead air biz card" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-rFCamjm1hh8/UA1bHQvKNDI/AAAAAAAACS4/H5KHdh4kFMc/dead%252520air%252520biz%252520card_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="425" height="257"></a></p> <p>Back:</p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-349OUAtZ16M/UA1bHgqP1-I/AAAAAAAACTA/7TYTdCZy-f8/s1600-h/dead%252520air%252520biz%252520card2%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="dead air biz card2" border="0" alt="dead air biz card2" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-co5IjWk25VA/UA1bHyekBbI/AAAAAAAACTI/HhkC_fdEx1w/dead%252520air%252520biz%252520card2_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="420" height="254"></a></p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-64610282798577281952012-07-22T07:25:00.001-07:002012-07-22T07:26:53.121-07:00Girl|Alien Pitch<p>Here’s the pitch I used for <a href="http://blog.writerunner.com/search/label/Girl%20%7C%20Alien" target="_blank">Girl|Alien</a> at the <a href="http://www.pnwa.org/displaycommon.cfm?an=5" target="_blank">2012 PNWA Conference</a>. Out of 12 agents and editors pitched, I got 5 direct requests and 3 requests to “send to this person in my office” which makes 8 out of 12. For the 4 “noes” it was usually that they didn’t represent YA SF or as one put it, “aliens” (even though the “Alien” in the title is a misnomer—Grett’s more of a highly evolved/genetically-engineered human). I don’t feel any rejections were from the pitch or story, it was mostly that it was hard to tell which YA agents sold YA SF so I pitched them all.</p> <p>We had 3 minutes to pitch our stories, so that gave us about 60 seconds to give the pitch. (Note this is <em>not</em> a query letter and should not be read as such). Here it is:</p> <blockquote> <p>Hi, I’m Andrew (or some relevant comment if she reads my tag). I’ve written a Young Adult Science Fiction novel called <em>Girl Alien</em> (did not say Girl-bar-Alien :). It’s complete at 95,000 words.</p> <p>Grett just wants to be a normal, <em>human</em> teenager, to hang with her friends, and to play on the Slapball team at her new school. But there’s this voice in her head that tells her to do things like run into burning buildings and to not “kill” (yes, I did air quotes)—even though she’s part of a warrior clan.</p> <p>She comes across a boy—the first of her kind she’s ever met—and when they kiss, her powers explode. She gets super strength, she can change her appearance (I wave my hand in front of my face), and her hair grows long and starts doing things on its own. (more waving). The problem is that her alien side has also come alive, and now wants her to enslave her friends and take over the city.</p> <p>When the rest of the aliens finally arrive, Grett must make a choice: either take her rightful place at their side as eventually conquerors of the planet, or convince her alien side to help defend her human friends from the attack.</p></blockquote> <p>I got a variety of questions after that, many about what the world is like, what the society is like, who the main characters are, what age is this for, concerns about the word count, and then the dreaded “what book is this like” and the best I could come up with on the spot was Percy Jackson, although this is totally not anything like that except that the main character has extraordinary powers.</p> <p>And now here’s the exciting calling card I made for <em>Girl | Alien</em>: (I redacted my phone when I made the image to put up here, not a typo).</p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-8cvYnnfpZHQ/UAwNRxmIr9I/AAAAAAAACSM/xJbCqZPbaK0/s1600-h/girl.alien%252520biz%252520card%25255B8%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="girl.alien biz card" border="0" alt="girl.alien biz card" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTVKiY0pAb5jRStXdK4dWjbchisARw3mDs4zXEpKU5oCQXD_dSPz9ct4k7A9ceE-fTVW9GcdTuHtDddjBTWCET00juRzhkmj50Kr1jNe_AA9Q-5BENx9qyZwuEtAjlQOQg7-0HeWUuMQsI/?imgmax=800" width="457" height="284"></a></p> <p>Back:</p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-8PMWyQPyPu4/UAwNS0g5meI/AAAAAAAACSc/F2GBERnKaxw/s1600-h/girl.alien%252520biz%252520card2%25255B6%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="girl.alien biz card2" border="0" alt="girl.alien biz card2" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-AepB-ksQgkg/UAwNTFre-vI/AAAAAAAACSk/51fluXKBSeE/girl.alien%252520biz%252520card2_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="457" height="276"></a></p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-42828093068919853892012-01-09T06:40:00.001-08:002012-01-09T06:41:31.677-08:00TRAPPED: A Graphic Novel, Part Two<p><em>For some reason I can’t explain, I’m critiquing my very first novel </em>TRAPPED<em>, which I wrote in the 4th Grade in 1977.</em></p> <p><em>TRAPPED,</em> A Graphic Novel, Part Two<br>( see <a href="http://blog.writerunner.com/2012/01/trapped-graphic-novel-part-one.html">Part One</a>)</p> <p> </p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-2KJeGNFLGZs/Twr8TlseS-I/AAAAAAAACC4/Q_eqWloSYgk/s1600-h/trapped%252520010%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 010" border="0" alt="trapped 010" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-0PjzG7x-slY/Twr8T5eem6I/AAAAAAAACDA/pP7Luj5o-sc/trapped%252520010_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="433" height="343"></a></p> <p>(5)<br><em>BZT<br></em> When everyone was out, including Soldier,<br>Don asked, “Do you have a leader? If you do, could you<br>take us to him?”<br> “We do, so we will. Hey, S10XZS821! Turn on<br>the non-light bending xrz!”</p> <p>“Come”</p> <p><em>You know, whenever there’s some pesky Law of the Universe, wouldn’t it be great if you could just turn it off with a flip of a switch? And why do alien names have to be so weird?<br>What’s with landing right on a tree?</em><em><br>Also, looks like I ran out of marker on this page. Or time.</em></p> <p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzxzURa9v6Xt3HOlChSM-DKSI2L4DPXGDihCDPDwBZO2LegoQpvJgA53OyEj6kAIVguVgw1Vkb6p65ytwsFTPRS3h5HrZbhk5WBwvp-5XKGpeJd8-0aDwyKnAuxuvJ97nexrYHvmU1GsWJ/s1600-h/trapped%252520011%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 011" border="0" alt="trapped 011" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-ITkJ1l4UD_U/Twr8U9yzfjI/AAAAAAAACDQ/TRVXmfDQdEk/trapped%252520011_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="434" height="344"></a></p> <p>(6)<br> “Meet President szaisteaF10. President szaisteaF-<br>10, this is?”<br> “The Appolo 203 10 year mission. How did you<br>know English,” asked Captain Mansfield.<br> “We mind read.”<br> “Our question is, how do you out of a black<br>hole?”<br> “Only the high wizard knows. I don’t<br>know where he is,” said the President.<br> “Where is the nearest planet?”<br> “5 light days away.”<br> “Wow! We’ll search for it. Bye.”</p> <p><em>First of all, “President” szaisteaF10, put some damn clothes on. Secondly, you might want to have that looked at. Seriously.<br>WTF is that yellow thing? It looks like a boot fell through the ceiling.<br>Oh, Sue, yeah. Looks like someone let herself go. She must have been pretty pissed when they turned the light-bending off. </em></p> <p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjht-eoEkK24sYf-90a8V6ynMZvvDQ3iWcafF5wz_xk1AR5kxXlh3PwbFIOPZpRm4lSomGGw8W8NiArJfgCJdnMWmKdCg_ULbGmgmM9dTKjjIGjbgmED1n7vPZGR3JpDigj8VEUK2NgWXMJ/s1600-h/trapped%252520012%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 012" border="0" alt="trapped 012" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-KSzFB9sBGUk/Twr8VjvvTiI/AAAAAAAACDg/1n3Z0jIDMXs/trapped%252520012_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="438" height="347"></a></p> <p>(7)<br> 6 days later they land on the planet.<br>Pow! Slam! Crash! Bash! Blam! Clutter!<br> A meteorite shower!!<br><br><em>It’s raining meteors, Hallelujah, it’s raining meteors, outside!</em></p> <p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_mYS_EvHmzQS05hbNYDW4edUqLSDvkW5EVPyno4-7tsu1otOyUXWxiQsagIp8blDIhQHqUI1OQ1TXKlxk-TpkUkRm5VgK2OGPyZCC4N8er4_21yScn_1Agvin6Nk67ishO3q83XOdsSLK/s1600-h/trapped%252520013%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 013" border="0" alt="trapped 013" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-huQJ1DAQycA/Twr8WdCTxnI/AAAAAAAACDw/SPKV8ICkrHw/trapped%252520013_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="440" height="352"></a></p> <p>(8)<br><em>BZT<br> </em>“It’s all over now,” said Captain Mansfeild. Let’s<br>go out.”<br> When they were all out somebody yelled,<br>”Freeze, let us investigate you invaders. Give<br>us all your weapons and your ship. Why did you come<br>here?”</p> <p>“Freeze!”</p> <p><em>I think a meteor is crushing one of them. Uh…a little help here?<br>Wait—did they land on the same damn tree on a different planet? What are the odds?</em></p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-OvRgVfGAEgI/Twr8W2kRImI/AAAAAAAACD4/jcv5wlFpl98/s1600-h/trapped%252520014%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 014" border="0" alt="trapped 014" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-aUPYLKh606A/Twr8XJ__ySI/AAAAAAAACEA/IGf_oNssuVU/trapped%252520014_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="437" height="348"></a></p> <p>(9)<br> “We want to see the High Wizard.”<br> “Why?”<br> “We want to know how to get out of a<br>black hole.”<br> “OK. We’ll take you to him if you<br>leave immediately afterwards!”</p> <p><em>Well, Sue’s starting to shape up a bit. <br>But now we have to deal with those pesky alien-twins-on-wheels.<br>Also has anyone considered that the tree is intelligent? It seems to be following them around.</em></p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-ryKtUUbP0aM/Twr8XRBdogI/AAAAAAAACEI/VrTchgnVg_w/s1600-h/trapped%252520015%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 015" border="0" alt="trapped 015" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSGxIj0AYuylhw0lYg2lkFz5ejrwKNk5xjwH8BwsVkLy7ox5EBjRuqp-4lLlPtl9uJbvPa1qFLLMu9aLUpNyMCxBAeN_GHK_Tv9gQL3E5asqNyYFL7kPRj1fdSqfE0lhPAHhCRpns6IPrN/?imgmax=800" width="446" height="357"></a></p> <p>(10)<br> “OK. We’ll cooperate.”<br> “Good. We’ll take her for a souvenir.”<br> “No you don’t,” yelled Daryl.<br> Pow! Sok! Chomp! Oof!<br> “There’s the un-lightbending switch,”<br>exclaimed Sue.<br> “Get in the spaceship,” Captain<br>Mansfield commanded. It was<br>pretty hard to find it.</p> <p><em>BZT<br></em>CAUTION<br>UN-Light Bending Switch<br>”Coming”<br>”Ooh, help!”<br>”YEOW”<br><em>chomp</em></p> <p><em>Go Soldier! Finally, some decent action. They are beating the crap out of those stupid twins-on-wheels alien mo-fo’s! <br>And thank heavens for that ultra-convenient un-light bending switch.<br>My very first novel, and the heroine is kicking ass. I am so proud (sniff). <br>I’m beginning to realize something: I don’t have enough dogs in my novels anymore. The only one I can think of is Chaucer in </em><a href="http://blog.dawnsrise.com/search/label/Steam%20Palace" target="_blank">Steam Palace</a>. <em>But sometime I need to write in a really bitchin’ dog like Soldier here.</em></p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-QZPL4JO-6_E/Twr8YEJM19I/AAAAAAAACEY/tbyw-FZc-Zs/s1600-h/trapped%252520016%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 016" border="0" alt="trapped 016" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisosjcX322w8fJiHIaGioy87OfIRlnqKX_ZoYNrabu9xULBuwGaaVgcgKqjhCwT82hUd0CoZkbf_2x8vHzzHJvw99OGpN5NcW-Efus-KdLqg24zHTuLdNvr6Pn-xJE7X7bg1qqMGe2l0Hx/?imgmax=800" width="443" height="353"></a></p> <p>(11)<br> 2 days later they land on a planet.<br>Luckily, they were out of fuel or they would<br>have crashed.<br> Someone said, “Planet V said you heading<br>in this direction wanting to see<br>the high wizard.”<br> “Yes, we are,” replied Captain<br>Mansfield.<br> “We’ll take you to him,” he said.<br><em>BZT</em></p> <p><em>Aliens with jetpacks rule!<br>So, with the light-unbending turned off, looks like Sue was back at the chow trough. Is it me or is Sue feeling a little like Smurfette, the only chick in the entire story?<br>That slide ramp looks pretty cool too.</em></p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-qTYxK9UbSFg/Twr8Y9MoZ5I/AAAAAAAACEo/jAkeYBMS0TA/s1600-h/trapped%252520017%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 017" border="0" alt="trapped 017" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-P_GCfTF7yjo/Twr8ZZ0WcZI/AAAAAAAACEs/JTD8ltFM-Xw/trapped%252520017_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="445" height="354"></a></p> <p>(12)<br> “Don, could you get fuel?”<br> “Sure.”<br> “Daryl, watch the spaceship.”<br> “Yes sir.”<br> The room they were led into held<br>the high wizard.<br> “How do you get out of a<br>black hole,” asked Sue.<br><em>”What a fool.”</em></p> <p><em>Um, Sue, let me explain. There’s a reason he’s called the <u>High</u> Wizard. Your first clue might have been that he’s smoking crack. <br>By the way, Sue, looking good, know what I mean?<br>I have no idea why it looks like the wizard is smoking. </em></p> <p><em></em><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-bLYSMOGp2YE/Twr8Z0j5V-I/AAAAAAAACE4/fZYw3x9VJ2g/s1600-h/trapped%252520018%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 018" border="0" alt="trapped 018" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-3LaCC6FrALA/Twr8aJipBOI/AAAAAAAACFA/ytQvhu0OBfo/trapped%252520018_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="444" height="361"></a></p> <p>(13)<br> “Go through another one, of course.”<br> “Where is another one?”<br> “20 light days away.”<br> “Thank you, goodbye!”<br> 21 days later, they land on a planet<br>that orbits the black hole. Suddenly<br>Sue floats off the planet very fast<br>heading towards the black hole.<br> “Into the rocket,” Captain Mans-<br>feild yelled. “Get her!”<br> Faster, faster, faster than the<br>speed of light, they rush to catch her.</p> <p><em>Dammit, Sue, your compulsive overeating has doomed us all! You got so big that the black hole’s trying to eat you! <br>There’s actually a great lesson for novel-writing right here. Just when you think you have all the answers, TPTB try to strip everything away and kill you. You must pass that final test with everything on the line.</em></p> <p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIVC_GSnSpyiT9MwiqEvbBr2tBaUNeFsyPpVcpGWyqv1aTP09w1_TqLb3ssN1guZx3Om5LVbaBfhXyxWuse2AtDDkIpYyQzm1spyRUCclAR_3OnIMWwAn8vJ0JneBZnC9Td_5_O7js9kCy/s1600-h/trapped%252520019%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 019" border="0" alt="trapped 019" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-YDqwNY8m79o/Twr8bO4ac0I/AAAAAAAACFQ/lbmMSfZh-3k/trapped%252520019_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="447" height="345"></a></p> <p>(14)<br> “Get her! Get on the oxyegen!”<br> All of a sudden, they are on the other<br>side of the black hole, where they had<br>started from.<br> “Let’s get back to Earth now”<br> When they got back to Earth,<br>there is a big celebration.<br> The end.<br>”The New Yorker”</p> <p><em>Whew. Finally, they’re safe. <br>I really can see the roots of my writing career in this story, written in the 4th grade some 35 years ago when I was 10 years old. I hope you have enjoyed it!</em></p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-44794870630661427862012-01-08T08:11:00.001-08:002012-01-09T06:52:48.007-08:00TRAPPED: A Graphic Novel, Part One<p>While cleaning out the garage I came across the very first novel I ever wrote. What I’ve done here is to include the pages of the novel, with a transcription and commentary.</p> <p>Without further ado, I present you, <em>TRAPPED, Part One.</em></p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-uIhQVsJlAPE/TwnAM0wWTBI/AAAAAAAACAk/B7MhLwhpA6g/s1600-h/Trapped%252520001%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Trapped 001" border="0" alt="Trapped 001" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-t2WlJqW_IdA/TwnANRC62qI/AAAAAAAACAo/zmnyj6B2ojs/Trapped%252520001_thumb%25255B3%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="505" height="405"></a></p> <p>TRAPPED<br>WRITTEN AND ILLISRATED BY ANDREW ROSENBERG</p> <p><em>Jeez, a typo right on the cover? What were they teaching me back then?<br>But it’s a nice, strong title. Conflict. Tension. It has everything.</em></p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-e0fcROoU3sU/TwnANk6XhRI/AAAAAAAACA0/Kn7cZOMVYIw/s1600-h/trapped%252520002%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 002" border="0" alt="trapped 002" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-0dbSxpZsus4/TwnAOHAWHeI/AAAAAAAACA8/5ELoRG1CaTc/trapped%252520002_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="317" height="263"></a></p> <p>TRAPPED<br>Written and Illustrated by Andrew Rosenberg</p> <p><em>Yay! Typo corrected by the cover page!</em></p> <p> </p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-lU5wGX-tEiY/TwnAOeX00cI/AAAAAAAACBA/cVVyN7s-HrY/s1600-h/trapped%252520003%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 003" border="0" alt="trapped 003" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg46yM5nwAotBwZTYfgdI891A4YmNp_kq5l0GHQ8cWLY-etdocYv_zdcu1tcr5jmbNGSgmzkB778W5QUj4JFACf3jSlKmO7YkUJpaRPnWK0gncaZlp8qTGrkBTcFDxJ-OUsRMVEGNMg2ReT/?imgmax=800" width="334" height="291"></a></p> <p>Copyright © 1977 by Rosenberg Co., Vernon Ct.</p> <p><em>Looks like I self-published with my own publishing house. See how smart I was in the 4th grade?</em></p> <p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBezjGhFqOMzB6x1EJijnGSnTMTvPj5_n1j7OU7YWB9pWT71RzklKoStC_rq2f3mGmTHUTszuBYS0fjYyyuUFgC7TLJkBA8fqW0I-NctvqdWQUvOS11ElQsX8doHha6_N7fSvYeBfhZTeA/s1600-h/trapped%252520004%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 004" border="0" alt="trapped 004" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW8Ut_r0HVTLNGkdbQ0AQxSLTLJWaMQbxswGK8C8MyHIquzBrB0lpjWsxN4ltTta5XmiZUak2fUx43JzmZZhyUxn8p37vAaDB1whfrm6pnQQOH3Zn_evGTg-yIP8_BjTHKF6IXFGnhI1ww/?imgmax=800" width="305" height="266"></a></p> <p>I dedicate this book to Mrs. Magnuson,<br>My parents, and Mr. Grabowski<br>For helping me write this book.</p> <p><em>Wha-wha-huh?? Magnuson? As in, Archie and May Magnuson, my crime-fighting detective duo? I remember Mr. Grabowski, but I don’t remember Mrs. Magnuson AT ALL. But maybe I did. Maybe she was an inspiration to my writing career, and somehow I used the name later. Weird.<br>Or maybe she was my literary agent. Yeah, that’s it. That’s why she’s in the acknowledgements.</em></p> <p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFHjmhyphenhyphenA7fbFTpGFhlFwVYesRH2nA2t3oR9YRSrZhaZpvWGEgYRNStyvfM3v_gT4myaYo2-e2xPCSoxxYYPDMOPRFVUu-xBwEf__gUUlyOxx0rqwd4yvq3YtEWsadR6t4dbYcci4gV_XqN/s1600-h/trapped%252520005%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 005" border="0" alt="trapped 005" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-l90KVbmuImg/TwnAQCmyJ3I/AAAAAAAACBs/7IoImUnCU_c/trapped%252520005_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="432" height="348"></a></p> <p>I n t r o d u c t I o n<br> This introduction is for you to realize<br>what a black hole is (which this story is about).<br>A black hole is a whole bunch of stars so squash-<br>ed together that the gravity is so great time stands<br>still, and light can’t escape (especially for rockets<br>that go as fast as light).<br> If you circled around a black hole for an hour,<br>1000 years could pass on Earth.<br> A black hole is made up of anti-matter which<br>can also be called nothing!<br> If you get close to a black hole, you would be<br>S t r e c h e d out of shape because<br>of the gravitie’s super strong pull.</p> <p><em>OK<br>A) If you’re going to explain how your story differs from known science, at least get the known science part right. <br>B) The bigger the word, the more important to spell it right.<br>C) I love the stretched dude.<br>D) This is a perfect example of why prologues suck.</em></p> <p><em>So I did a pretty good job with all the preambles of the book. But with Page (1), I make an immediate mistake: Page 1 is on the left.</em></p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-w4boXJkwRXg/TwnAQ9y8fmI/AAAAAAAACB0/oGge-X-T6kc/s1600-h/trapped%252520006%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 006" border="0" alt="trapped 006" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAVqy627K6IzH_Mwxe57VEgjhszXJdnQBbn4u-V1wxfhsVpmVHecGLm9aqSYgulVSIIdm-LP8NP3foN0CKmv2m-rOqdT4OS3Jl37ZXlZyme7Lngi0O3WLR5dmZMYUEr33HAI0NM5TkbZmm/?imgmax=800" width="506" height="409"></a></p> <p>(1)<br>“3…2…1…ignition, BLASTOFF!”<br> It is the year 2014. Captain Mansfield, Mike<br>Mansfield, Sue Mansfield, Daryl Mansfield, Don Brooks,<br>and Soldier, their dog, start their 10 year mission into<br>space.<br> Soon the Appolo 203 Mission 10 spaceship<br>is going about 36,000 MPH. Then 128,000 MPH. Then<br>up to 85,258,500 MPH. From there on, the speed of<br>light, 186,000 MPSecond.</p> <p><em>2014??? Holy crap we better get going already!<br>I bet back in 1977, I was thinking, “sometime waaaay in the future. Like…2014. Yeah.”<br>Damn I feel old.<br>WTF is with everyone with the same name, and one random dude? <br>I wonder which country’s spaceship that is…<br>I also wonder what that device is next to the crowd. Looks like it’s zapping them.<br>BTW pay attention and see if any of those names are mentioned again. A reminder to not front-load your stories with a lot of characters who never re-appear.<br>Used a character named “Mansfield” in the first draft of <a href="http://blog.dawnsrise.com/search/label/Steam%20Palace" target="_blank">Steam Palace</a> but he got cut.<br>Have a couple characters named “Sue” here and there. </em></p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-2H04HtS7gtg/TwnARt1_l6I/AAAAAAAACCE/5dIOHqjmCAc/s1600-h/trapped%252520007%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 007" border="0" alt="trapped 007" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-iT7o360j3gM/TwnAR8KeKgI/AAAAAAAACCM/sdHQwz-oChA/trapped%252520007_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="518" height="424"></a></p> <p>(2)<br> “Slow down the spaceship,” Don exclaimed<br>after a few days on their mission.<br> “It’s the Captain’s orders. We have to contact<br>Earth!”<br> Bzzzzz, Click. “1-10 to Earth 1-10 to<br>Ear—Hey! The spaceship’s going backwar-<br>ds very fast! Fire the engine’s. Full speed<br>ahead,” Captain Mansfield demanded.<br><strong>BOOM</strong> Fizzle, Crack!<br>”Stop the engines! It’s a black hole!”</p> <p><em>Couple lessons here:<br>A) Never underestimate the power of onomatopoeia.<br>B) Nor the power of exclamation points!<br>C) Nor the power of a black hole. In other words, never park your spaceship near a black hole to make a phone call.</em></p> <p><em><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFUcToqM24ARjcM6p8o_HvYPms2P_75stpLveCJyA4o4nzGrpC3Nv4RoOsCKKOb-zuo6bsP9NyYR-XHJ5k7h6AO2Rqu3fHkQQ4Hz0MifqYRX8JUFEJYPMkpJv9z31RShJkMTc7d-K5aiSn/s1600-h/trapped%252520008%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 008" border="0" alt="trapped 008" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-tRb6guPTaPw/TwnASbH2arI/AAAAAAAACCc/BWuYtFwfYEs/trapped%252520008_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="484" height="392"></a></em></p> <p>(3)<br> As quick as a wink, they’re on the other side<br>of the black hole. Now the dimensions are height,<br>depth, width, time, and bending light!<br> “How do we get back through the hole,” every-<br>one asked. Even Soldier was upset.<br> Life in the spaceship was the same<br>except you kept on bumping into things<br>you didn’t see!</p> <p><em>I really hate that light-bending Universe! Look at what it does to poor Sue Mansfield. On the left-hand size, she’s this totally hot zombie. On the right, she’s plain Jane. <br>For the record, neither my handwriting nor my drawing ability has improved one iota since 1977. If you don’t believe me, ask anyone in my critique groups.</em></p> <p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEialfseYpXLKaaKPy2CUJSn53h6Tyc6YRzIctomEpZxe2p2_kBK12W2qyiU2Czp8SBO-RGcIRDHuFa_6PGLo0USdma8TmSnbOuz0bu7p1hjIzI80ncXknvBm0loZMah3vYKxP3yzyiJOuMU/s1600-h/trapped%252520009%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="trapped 009" border="0" alt="trapped 009" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-9RCkdvMXSEQ/TwnAS3zyJ4I/AAAAAAAACCs/rPAask2a-hY/trapped%252520009_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="531" height="441"></a></p> <p>(4)<br> “Prepare the spaceship to land,” Captain Mans-<br>field ordered. With him, Don, and Mike at the<br>controls, Sue and Daryl watch out the win-<br>dow, they try to land on land. <strong>Crunch!</strong> A<br>perfect land!<br> The land had oxyegen, trees, inttegent<br>life! English?!</p> <p>“HALT! DO YOU COME IN PEACE OR WAR”</p> <p>“PEACE”</p> <p><em>An interrobang?! Yes!<br>Seriously, whatever else you do in life, DO NOT MISSPELL “INTELLIGENT!”<br>And don’t repeat words over and over again and again.</em></p> <p>Next: <em><a href="http://blog.writerunner.com/2012/01/trapped-graphic-novel-part-two.html">TRAPPED: A Graphic Novel, Part Two</a></em></p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-90932494597485198242011-10-31T19:50:00.001-07:002011-10-31T19:50:24.324-07:00Once Upon a NaNoWriMo<p><a href="http://nanowrimo.org/" target="_blank"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 5px 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Once upon a time" border="0" alt="Once upon a time" align="right" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAt6_KocFsdzid61YgAy2AIcQlGtwSGDxpzlQp33ml1pg09h3LmA96fCXG69Pf5UJm8Mm-csLmeqz_I86zLJTifskVYUunbCJBUo-ml6YBBrbnn9Mc5r6ovv8nrqA4JEbWGGPkt8Elp8vX/?imgmax=800" width="344" height="241">NaNoWriMo</a></p> <p>It’s that special time of year when we ask ourselves, “WTF?”</p> <p>It’s that time when we commit to writing 50,000 words of utter crap in a mere 30 days.</p> <p>It’s when we kiss our families goodbye on Halloween and hope to see them again sometime after Thanksgiving, when we crawl like literary bears into our NaNoWriMo caves with only pen and paper for sustenance (or a laptop).</p> <p>But it’s also the time when we enter that “special” world.</p> <p>Like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fight_Club_(film)" target="_blank">Fight Club</a>, there’s that “look” people have when enduring NaNoWriMo. The bags under the eyes. The cramped wrists. We nod secretly in the halls of our workplaces or cafes, saying things like “Wrote 1300 last night”, “I hate my heroine, I think I’m gonna kill her off”, “Just hit the major Act II turning point dude”, or “got meth? Just kidding. But not really.”</p> <p>For when we enter NaNoWriMo, we enter a hallowed arena upon which few dare to tread. A challenging obstacle course full of traps and pitfalls such as go-nowhere plots, impossible-to-escape jails, characters who disappear without warning, and of course the most dreaded monster of all: the “I forgot to backup my work and lost everything.”</p> <p>But once we surmount these setbacks and push through to the final 50K finish line, we can look back upon ourselves with pride, and for some of us, for the first time in our lives, we can call ourselves, <em>“Novelists.”</em></p> <p><strong>GOOD LUCK EVERYBODY!</strong></p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-48132551404163628782011-09-14T07:49:00.001-07:002011-09-14T07:49:15.615-07:00Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s Off to Work I Go<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZWQV3EuehTS_FvN64ZidagIsU7I1QpQLXn9zFBZ7nsEzStc2TkDFCNGyyGSxZn84BejGe4pNITTCMc4t6YAKDB9JaY03uTyp6ykSEzX8zkVTe63AKsPYgzqUBXy4Yo62IR7XpsgDalmKt/s1600-h/Disney%252520Bldg%252520007%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 5px 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Disney Bldg 007" border="0" alt="Disney Bldg 007" align="right" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd3SDZV8U5adD6fraWB1vPguuXQeigxFTRGDbbzL80bWLeD3XkR6VRssUziWkp4uLbz3yb5ka-k-mbycpcnlKkJEHCekc7D33w3o0mepqkaMumQtXmtJGOAJdwcpofHYZNEoYocColrEi7/?imgmax=800" width="284" height="335"></a>Are you ready for some news?</p> <p>This is probably the hardest post I’ve ever had to write, but as of Monday, I’ve gone back to “work.” Like Jack Sparrow, I’ve searched the oceans for treasure and found a job. Yes, most people would be super-excited about started a new job. I mean I am, but at the same time, I’m really disappointed that my writing career is screeching to halt. (BTW I’ve sprinkled clues at to my new employer throughout this post).</p> <p>This doesn’t mean my dream of being a published writer is over. I have not LOST.</p> <p>This is my plan.</p> <p>Write on the bus. Read on the bus. Give up a couple iPhone games I love. Give up at least 1 of the 3 writing groups I’m in. Give up watching a bunch of TV shows I like. Give up going to the gym (kinda was forced to give this up anyways due to ankle issues).</p> <p>What I’m not giving up:</p> <ul> <li>My dream of being a published writer with multiple published novels. <li>The wonderful world of <a href="http://nanowrimo.org/" target="_blank">NaNoWriMo</a> (won twice while working full-time) <li><a href="http://blog.dawnsrise.com/search/label/Steam%20Palace" target="_blank"><em>Steam Palace</em></a>. I will publish this one way or another.</li></ul> <p>Give up yet on my new employer? Well it’s a small world after all, so keep your mouse ears on.</p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-38214029647548221612011-09-05T10:55:00.001-07:002011-09-05T10:55:17.214-07:00Manuscript Surgery<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivnpCEtjHTrb6pwr8nHcdnWx9CTncOFymHvI0cD6U3Zs3ZzFD08gVGyKkgCbzWoN2nJWpLDVL85V0P62ApyxmrjO14svzOpZSLnWxNsD2WJ4RXqiupWULFi3XPJ0YxmgtwUQqape5x08ou/s1600-h/hand%252520surgery%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 5px 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="hand surgery" border="0" alt="hand surgery" align="right" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-HqpFp_SEhwo/TmUNBL8OoRI/AAAAAAAAB_o/rjoZze5Qb68/hand%252520surgery_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="259" height="373"></a>At the <a href="http://blog.writerunner.com/2011/08/pnwa-writers-conference-report.html" target="_blank">PNWA Conference</a> last month, most of the agents and editors I spoke to about <a href="http://blog.dawnsrise.com/search/label/Steam%20Palace" target="_blank"><em>Steam Palace</em></a> suggested that I not submit my ms until it was closer to 100,000 words. I was at 142K. That would mean a 30% reduction in wordcount. How do I cut a third of the story?</p> <p>Well, I could have just cut Act 3. It was around 40K. But it would leave too much hanging, too much unresolved. Not great for a first novel.</p> <p>I could cut characters, arcs, sub-plots, anything and everything. So I took a hacksaw to the story. I wound up cutting 19 scenes out of at total of 101. It was hard. My recent visits to the dentist have been easier (although he’s threatening to remove teeth which would trump this in suckiness).</p> <p>Some of my favorite scenes are now in the dustbin. Sophia and Thomas’ first kiss? Gone. Sophia’s mystical dream? Vanished. Sophia’s duel with the pirate-like Captain Dawson? Trashed. <em>Sob.</em></p> <p>Here’s the thing to consider when cutting scenes. How much does it affect the rest of the story? With many of these scenes that I cut, I found that they either duplicated other scenes, or could be summarized in a line or two in a later chapter to explain the gap. In the case of the first kiss, removing that scene simplified the story and allowed me to take out later scenes that followed up on it. Furthermore, it’s not the kiss between Sophia and Thomas that propels the story, it’s the kiss between Sophia and…well you’ll just have to read it.</p> <p>The next step in the process was reading every scene and trimming, especially lead-ins and conclusions. I have a tendency to summarize at the end of scenes, so I cut this out. I also have a tendency to over-explain, so I found duplicate sentiments and emotions. Why do I have to do all the work in explaining everything? Let the reader’s imagination do the heavy lifting. So I found a lot of stuff to cut that way.</p> <p>After this, I’m at 112K. Pretty good, considering where I started. 30K words gone. The story moves much faster now, without so much development and side-routes. We get right to the meat of the issue. And it keeps moving.</p> <p>So how will I get rid of the last 12K? Well, I don’t know if I can really cut much more. It’s pretty bare bones right now. I do have about 3K of epilogue which I could drop in a pinch and save for Book 2, but I think it’s mostly there to <em>sell</em> Book 2, so it’s more strategic than tactical.</p> <p>What I’m using is <a href="http://www.amazon.com/10-Solution-Ken-Rand" target="_blank">Ken Rand’s <em>10% Solution</em></a>. (112K-10% (11K)=101K). It’s a method of scanning your story for junk words and long phrases that can be made more concise. Here are some examples:</p> <ul> <li>The door of the car-> The car door (remove “of the”)</li> <li>A burst of fire->A fire burst (remove “of” in “blah of blah” expressions)</li> <li>She wanted to but she didn’t->She wanted to. She didn’t. (remove “but”, “then”, “so”, “as”, “and”, etc. that join sentences)</li> <li>Remove adverbs (“-ly” words)</li> <li>Remove said, told, cried, etc. dialog tags when the speaker is clear.</li></ul> <p>There’s a bunch more, so I highly recommend grabbing a copy. Another huge area I’m looking at is adding contractions. My characters don’t use them. If it means not cutting more scenes, I may add a few select contractions to the mix so they have a few “it’s” (or tis), “I’m”, “’s” (She’s gone vs she is gone) but leave in stuff like “I shall” to give it flavor. There are literally thousands of contractible phrases in my ms waiting to be reduced.</p> <p>Unfortunately this process is tedious and mechanical. Given that it takes maybe 10 seconds to find and fix each cut word, I’m looking at 33 hours of work to remove 12K words at a minimum.</p> <p>And I may not have the time. Stay tuned for a special announcement in the next few days.</p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-65794565522612508792011-09-01T19:02:00.001-07:002011-09-01T19:02:37.144-07:00It’s NaNoWriMo Season!<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAyrvKyzQEDjoSzDhNZbAfM4hre1CmcDo1oU7F3lGIU6TzRLKzsuou43tmp4KyajcfysgJ6Pjk2UqQjBVzDvdPf9Gn8tQ7L3NMW8nQTTi4mkA_majLuKWwCPRccNNCUJYwiLOE1FmZknzB/s1600-h/nano%252520kitteh%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="nano kitteh" border="0" alt="nano kitteh" align="right" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjQpjALWqYNN5l50cyzWsnDjnUvBuLFgmWxC7ihfGvnqa-sNj3MNdGgPuLo-qkWExF8e9Lch6S9ogTNIX9RdtJTumE1zM7obWn2qrBltiY5EDERsa3881pTOo07nruJKaL-r7pplzLGNSI/?imgmax=800" width="330" height="252"></a>Yup, it’s already that time of year, for those of us infected with write-a-novel-in-a-month fever. September 1 is the date when I officially log on to <a href="http://nanowrimo.org/" target="_blank">NaNoWriMo</a>.org and start planning my next big novel.</p> <p>Right now I’m in the midst of final edits for my 2009 NaNo novel <a href="http://blog.dawnsrise.com/search/label/Steam%20Palace" target="_blank"><em>Steam Palace</em></a>. I may pick up my 2010 NaNo novel <em>Dead Air</em> and edit that soon.</p> <p>So what’s the big deal about NaNoWriMo? For me it’s something about the pressure of writing ~1700 words a day no matter what. It gives my writing a sense of urgency, and it also limits my ability to go off on tangents in the story. 1 week for Act 1, 2 for Act 2, and 1 last week for Act 3. No 50,000 words of backstory. Keep to the script as it were.</p> <p>Now why start planning my novel on September 1? Why not just sit down on November 1 and start writing?<br>3 main reasons:</p> <ol> <li> Characters. Start inventing characters. Now. You don’t have to stick with them. You don’t have to use them. Think about reasons why the reader should care about these characters. Figure out strengths and weaknesses, needs and blind spots. What’s the most important thing in the world to them? What would they rather die than see happen?</li> <li>Setting. Where and when does this take place? What are the special rules of this world? Where are all the special places? If it’s the real world, visit that location. If it’s historical, start your research now. If it’s 2nd World, start drawing maps! </li> <li>Backstory. What’s already happened? How did everyone get where they are now? Heck, create resumes for your characters. What are the defining moments of their lives? What are they proud of? Their regrets? Who are their heroes? Who did they vote for? </li></ol> <p>The next step is to figure out a general plot. What happens. What must happen. For me I thing of the beginning and ending. What’s the <em>premise</em>?</p> <p>For last year’s NaNo <em>Dead Air</em>, my premise was something like this:<br>“Invalid woman solves crimes without ever leaving her bed.”</p> <p>For <em>Steam Palace</em> it was:<br>“Girl has to choose between love and power/fame/fortune.”</p> <p>For <em>Teen Alien</em> (not written for NaNo BUT written in 30 days):<br>“Girl with extraordinary abilities discovers she’s an alien and must choose between her friends and the aliens who come to claim her.”<br>—although it was actually simpler than that:<br>”What if there was a planet populated only by women?”</p> <p>What-if’s are a great way to imagine story ideas:<br>What if there’s this secret parallel land of wizards/elves/zombies/Republicans right in our back yard? What if you could secretly inhabit a dog/fly/cat/convict’s body and control them? What if there was a plot to assassinate the pope/president/Queen of England/your boss/Seinfeld and you were the only one who could stop/do it?</p> <p>Don’t want ‘til the end of October to start imagining this stuff. Imagination starts now!</p> <p>So what am I going to do for NaNo? I have no clue. I have a couple original story concepts (well, one of which is essentially <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarzan" target="_blank">Tarzan</a> fanfic if you can believe it), a couple of sequel concepts to stuff I’ve already written. Right now I’m leaning towards a sequel to my Mystery novel from last NaNo. I really like the characters and the conflicts that are inherent in their lives.</p> <p>One way to choose is to consider your options and ask which one you are most passionate about. Don’t think about which one will sell, which one will be “easier”. Find a story you care about so much that you are willing to abandon everything else for one month to write this story. A story you cannot wait to write. Then spend all the time you can between now and November doing character charts, plot outlines, world building, and whatever you can do to prepare yourself.</p> <p>Or just wing it. Just be prepared to put pen to paper (finger to keyboard/quill to parchment) on November 1, 2011.</p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-89925492996946158972011-08-23T10:58:00.001-07:002011-08-23T10:58:07.031-07:00“What are you passionate about?”<p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-loQJnoo6a98/TlPqJqep6nI/AAAAAAAAB_Q/jaGTiNE7HKY/s1600-h/passion%252520fest%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="passion fest" border="0" alt="passion fest" align="right" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBF2sBrXOYHH496ZXB6HxgPPQWddk0cWd22BhVIYipMeUOCwRvznRZCVUAzaCoqpc_5uo9ROI1Apwqfqae2fFA8ENPinR_ou09QYmq-bRxPXn9i8lFL32h6yboluwtvhmQYCs7Cdcwp7k0/?imgmax=800" width="281" height="447"></a>I’ve received that question a few times lately in regards to some non-writing matters. But it got me thinking…what about <em>writing</em> am I passionate about?</p> <p>I started thinking about things like Show vs Tell, character arcs, <a href="http://sites.google.com/a/dawnsrise.com/heros-journey/" target="_blank">Hero’s Journey</a>, <a href="http://sites.google.com/a/dawnsrise.com/scene-structure/">scene structure</a>, and the appropriate use of commas. Plot vs story, conflict on every page, tension, stakes, making every word matter. </p> <p>Then it struck me. All those concepts are really ancillary to the real thing I’m passionate about.</p> <p>I’m passionate about <em>PASSION</em>.</p> <p>Not necessarily that romantic passion—though I have that too—but I’m passionate about writing characters who are passionate, who care, who fight and struggle whether for a good or evil cause.</p> <p>I’m passionate about creating surprises, to challenge my characters past the breaking point, to have them fight to the last breath. To create wild twists and turns that drive the story to the conclusion.</p> <p>I’m passionate about good writing, that creates worlds you can see, touch, and taste. Characters that you feel that you know, that care about the things you would if you were them. </p> <p>So my stories are really stories about the nature of passion, and what passion can do to you. In <a href="http://blog.dawnsrise.com/search/label/Steam%20Palace" target="_blank"><em>Steam Palace</em></a>, my main character Sophia even has a name for it—<em>Mad Passion</em>. She thinks it’s some kind of ethereal magic that causes her to make difficult decisions and face the truth of her situation. She thinks it’s a defect or some kind of special gift, but the reality is that she’s just passionate. Like everyone. And by driving her to the truth of matters, she can throw off societies’ norms and expectations and do what she needs to do.</p> <p>Passion.</p> <p><strong>How do you use passion in your writing? </strong></p> <p><em>Hmm…that image I found gives me an idea for a blogfest……</em></p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-74870786589455582332011-08-08T10:25:00.001-07:002011-08-08T10:25:04.546-07:00PNWA Writer’s Conference Report<p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-PHfkSdarL50/TkAb7jPapBI/AAAAAAAAB_I/VgmjyheWyOc/s1600-h/assnbanner2%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="assnbanner2" border="0" alt="assnbanner2" align="right" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGYX-t982lXT1uDotvBt7QOY2itUY8IB4k907Nodq4fwyIbuGPESM6tK2H9dxRoGT27ROaLhWMFxYpFbTdIMiQfLiqgQH89MY3hZQfC4mdw-OhJTYOTTgJNf2qIUkvnfJdQ_Y52Au9snxy/?imgmax=800" width="319" height="148"></a>Nerves.</p> <p>Exhaustion.</p> <p>Drinks at the bar. (after pitching)</p> <p>That pretty much sums up my <a href="http://www.pnwa.org/displaycommon.cfm?an=5" target="_blank">PNWA Conference</a> experience.</p> <p>I was far more nervous pitching agents than having a job interview. And I couldn’t sleep, worrying about it. Yes, I’d love a job, but I’d die for a publishing contract. So I had 3-5 minutes to pitch some I’ve spent 2+ years on. No pressure.</p> <p>I just spent the last four days working on and delivering my novel pitch (which I really didn’t change since WDC in January) and learning more about writing.But there’s one thing I learned more than any other lesson.</p> <p><strong>Write small.</strong></p> <p>I knew going in that my manuscript for <a href="http://blog.dawnsrise.com/search/label/Steam%20Palace" target="_blank"><em>Steam Palace</em></a> was too long. I was terrified that they would hear that and not want to even hear my pitch. When they did ask the length, I said, “140K but I’m working on it,” with a smile. They replied, “well, I’d like to see it……after you cut it down to 100K.”</p> <p><em>Gasp.</em></p> <p>That’s a 30% reduction. I spent a lot of the conference asking authors or presenters about strategies on how to do this. I’ve come up with 4 main approaches:</p> <ol> <li>Trim scenes. Start them later. End them earlier. Combine two scenes into one.</li> <li>Cut subplots. Do we really need to know Aunt Beatrice had a crush on a guy 20 years ago and rekindles that relationship?</li> <li>Cut characters. Thomas was supposed to be Sophia’s love interest. But her real “love” interest is Viola. (buddy/family love) So why have two love stories?</li> <li>Line Editing. I figured I can reduce the ms by about 5% by removing extraneous then’s, but’s, adverbs, of’s, etc. This would be a final step once I get down to ~105K. </li></ol> <p>I think if I cut my ms 30%, I’ll actually improve it 100%. Less is more. I’ll concentrate on what’s important, leave out what’s not so important. </p> <p>But once this editing is done and I send it out, it’s done. No more<em> Steam Palace</em>. Ever. Unless, of course, I get a publishing contract. Then it’s all <em>Steam Palace</em>, all the time.</p> <p>Now to get out that axe and start hacking!</p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-31319329625619080922011-06-25T15:31:00.001-07:002012-07-22T07:11:23.493-07:00First Page Contest<p>This is my submission to <a href="http://www.gelfmanschneider.com/" target="_blank">Victoria Marini’s</a> <a href="http://shelleywatters.blogspot.com/2011/06/birthday-blowout-first-page-contest.html" target="_blank">First Page Contest</a> hosted by <a href="http://shelleywatters.blogspot.com" target="_blank">Shelly Waters</a>!<br>Email: andrew.rosenberg at writerunner dot com<br>Title: <em>Teen Alien<br></em>Genre: YA SF<br>Word Count: 55,000 <p>Will return all critiques! (Make sure you leave a link in your comment) <p><strong>Revised Submission (Thanks for the input!)</strong> <p><font face="Georgia">They say before you draw your last breath, your life hits replay.</font> <p align="justify"><font face="Georgia">They never said it could happen <i>after</i>.</font> <p align="justify"><font face="Georgia">Grett Hawk’s eyes stared up at the pale blue sky. Her heart and lungs lay still. A sharp rock spur impaled her belly, her jaw hung to one side, and her knees and elbows bent at impossible angles.</font> <p align="justify"><font face="Georgia">Two mule boys argued above her body, screaming in girlish voices. One grabbed her broken hand and yanked. Her shoulder separated in a sick, painless snap. The other seized her shattered wrist, grinding the cracked bones. They hauled her out of the ravine, over the jagged, blood-smeared rocks that had blendered her body.</font> <p align="justify"><font face="Georgia">Grett could neither move, blink, nor speak, only stare at the solar trees that crowned the ridge top. On Gwanda, trees were dead things, floral simulations. Grett was as dead as those machines, but by some miracle, thoughts still coursed through her head.</font> <p align="justify"><font face="Georgia"><i>Is this what death is like?</i> Grett wondered. She felt night-sky calm, disinterested in the assault that had just claimed her life.</font> <p align="justify"><font face="Georgia">Uninvited holovid-like images impinged her mind, of whips lashing the mules boys while a white-haired girl laughed at their torment. <em>What do </em>they<em> know of suffering?</em> she had thought. Grett’s mother and sister were dead, killed in action by the enemy. Someone had to pay. Someone had to suffer as much as Grett. Why not the dirty mules? They had overturned her mother's shrine with their frivolous play.</font></p> <p align="justify"><font face="Georgia">If her guts could clench they would.</font></p> <p><strong>Original Submission:</strong><br><font face="Georgia">They say before you draw your last breath, your life hits replay.</font> <p align="justify"><font face="Georgia">They never said it could happen <i>after</i>.</font> <p align="justify"><font face="Georgia">Grett Hawk’s eyes stared up at the pale blue sky. Her heart and lungs lay still. Ribs jabbed through her side, dislocated jawbones and broken teeth dripped blood down her throat, and guts oozed out of the gash in her belly.</font> <p align="justify"><font face="Georgia">Two mule boys argued above her body, screaming in their girlish voices. One grabbed her broken hand and yanked, separating her shoulder in a sick snap. The other seized her shattered wrist, grinding the cracked bones. They hauled her out of the ravine, over the jagged, blood-smeared rocks that had blendered her body.</font> <p align="justify"><font face="Georgia">Grett could neither move, blink, nor speak, only stare at the solar trees that crowned the ridge top. Like all plants on Gwanda, trees were dead things, machines designed to simulate real trees. Unlike her, they did not have thoughts still running through their heads.</font> <p align="justify"><font face="Georgia"><i>Is this what death is like?</i> Grett wondered. She felt night-sky calm, disinterested in the assault that had just claimed her life.</font> <p><font face="Georgia">A vision intruded into her mind’s eye, an image of whips lashing the mule boys until their backs bled. She had laughed at their cries. What did <i>they</i> know of suffering? Her mother and sister were dead, killed in action by the enemy. Someone had to pay. Someone had to hurt as much as Grett. Why not the dirty mules?</font> <p><font face="Georgia">Unease electrified as her life replayed across her mind’s canvas.</font></p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-8958692508474044612011-06-23T14:49:00.001-07:002012-07-22T07:11:23.517-07:00Getting to Know Your MC Blogfest: Grett Hawk<p><a href="http://elizabethmueller.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="regret" border="0" alt="regret" align="right" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1ZdyBawzoM-LJtvYlT3Y1hy6_p28AnQADUIxU6FbAuZWeU-LmCpDEP_b3Cv1dnz3O5qq5WVFY18LRXeVqp-YT9SdQ5MH83l8pq3ema5g4nGBVz6ivClhzykgbvWY4dkHF6xo7796SIrPf/?imgmax=800" width="342" height="295">Elizabeth Mueller</a> is hosting the <strong>“Getting to Know Your MC” Blogfest</strong>, inspired by <a href="http://charactertherapist.com/" target="_blank">Jeannie Campbell’s</a> 3 questions. Check out all the other <a href="http://elizabethmueller.blogspot.com/2011/05/jeannie-campbells-getting-to-know-your.html" target="_blank">entries</a>! The point is to get to know your Main Character at a deeper level.</p> <p>Today, we’re going to interview my newest MC Grett Hawk from the <em>Alien Teen/Girl World</em> YA SF Series I’m working on (yeah I don’t really have a title yet). </p> <p> </p> <p>Hi, this Grett. Thank you so much for your interest in my story, by Andrew has asked that we take it down for now since it’s pretty revealing, and he wants to keep you in suspense. I promise there will be more from me at a future date!</p> <p><strong><font color="#ff0000" size="3">ENTRY REDACTED</font></strong></p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-31862159375221524182011-06-21T18:47:00.001-07:002011-06-21T18:47:36.789-07:00Ideas Don’t Sell<p><em><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-qOjku4F3FZo/TgFJtr8x55I/AAAAAAAAB64/074vd9curnw/s1600-h/philly-pretzels1%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="philly-pretzels1" border="0" alt="philly-pretzels1" align="right" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-M1VDrODAfUg/TgFJt01ejpI/AAAAAAAAB68/b5GkrsceMG4/philly-pretzels1_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="325" height="255"></a>Thanks to </em><a href="http://victoriamixon.com/" target="_blank"><em>Victoria Mixon</em></a><em>’s </em><a href="http://victoriamixon.com/2011/06/20/how-to-write-wrong-in-3-easy-steps" target="_blank"><em>post</em></a><em> for inspiring this.</em></p> <p>I’m an idea guy. I’m always thinking about situations, complications, characters, conflicts, twists, what have you. I think I’m original, creative, and I can generate the basis of compelling stories. </p> <p>But there’s a problem. </p> <p>It reminds me of something I’ve heard from published writers at conferences. It generally goes something like this:</p> <p>“A friend of mine heard that I’m published. They said they had a great idea for a story, and if I wrote it for them, they’d split the proceeds with me 50-50.”</p> <p>I hope you can see the problem with this. And the problem with me.</p> <p>You see, the greatest ideas in the world don’t make a story. They make a great description of an idea.</p> <p>Stories are more than great ideas. They require great writing. In fact, without great writing, stories are dull and lifeless, and even the greatest idea in the world cannot save it. The writing is what makes the idea come alive to the reader. It’s describing a pretzel as flour, water, yeast, and salt, twisted and baked for 20 mins vs describing a pretzel as warm, chewy nirvana that Hindu street vendors sell during blisteringly cold Decembers in Philadelphia.</p> <p>The interesting thing is that query letters are really all about the idea, the concept. I wonder if people get caught up in this. Then the writing disappoints, and the partial is rejected.</p> <p>Seems like I’ve been a ton of time working on the ideas, figuring out all the plot details, worrying about <a href="http://sites.google.com/a/dawnsrise.com/heros-journey/">story structure</a>, but used barely any effort working on my <em>writing</em>. Not just sentences, but more about how I approach a scene, what’s said, what’s felt, what’s not just happening in the physical plane, but what’s happening on the emotional level, and not just for the POV character. </p> <p>The truth of the matter is that great ideas are a dime a dozen. Anyone can think of some characters and some complications, some trick that ties it all together, some great piece of technology or magic. But what sells is writing. Vivid scenes. Relatable characters you care about. Something that captures the reader from the first word and refuses to let them go. (Let’s not go overboard here…the ideas behind the story have to be original and captivating, otherwise your characters have nothing interesting to do). I think that great writing sells a lot more books than great ideas.</p> <p>So to summarize, ideas don’t sell the writing, the writing sells the ideas. </p> <p>Or, in other words, the more I learn about writing, the more I learn that I don’t know shit about writing.</p> <p>PS. I find it interesting that I don’t have a blog category called “Writing Technique.” Hmm…</p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-71756907912900810682011-05-27T12:12:00.001-07:002012-07-22T07:11:23.497-07:00Plotting Vs. Pantsing<p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-fBbE0DF8zXk/Td_3oUoBExI/AAAAAAAAB6w/vlj_BhX4yXI/s1600-h/pauly-want-a-pantsing%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="pauly-want-a-pantsing" border="0" alt="pauly-want-a-pantsing" align="right" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc5G40TYzPzADgyuRZmjKt-ZSVmX-e2q4L_Rl1Hb2IU-0CgZe9-6-JWXC3vJAEM2dU5ADwynZt08OK3nexwCcig6qiyE-dMGhg2IcQux0ZsnSX2KNFfaKWFR8d4troFYDJ7IIwffS9ZjFq/?imgmax=800" width="319" height="284"></a>Okay. For my last few <a href="http://nanowrimo.org/" target="_blank">NaNoWriMo</a> novels (<a href="http://blog.dawnsrise.com/search/label/Steam%20Palace" target="_blank">Steam Palace</a>, Dead Air) and my screenplay, I’ve been a plotter. Meaning, I’ve plotted out most of the major scenes and turning points of the story. Plotting is a process by which you can create a roadmap for your story so you don’t spend time exploring dead ends or trying to ram a character into a situation that “needs” to happen. I’m a firm believer in plotting as a way to do a lot of the structural work of the story before you sit down and write it. It’s particularly effective for Nano or <a href="http://scriptfrenzy.org" target="_blank">Script Frenzy</a> since whatever work you do beforehand is that much less you need to do as you’re writing.</p> <p>So I have a confession to make. For Girl World, I… pantsed it! *cringe* Don’t hit me!</p> <p>Okay, in fairness, it’s not like I sat down on Day One and wrote a novel from scratch. I’ve had the concept in my head since December. I’ve written a few thousand words of backstory, written from the 1st person POV of the main character. In fact, I didn’t start out to write a novel at all.</p> <p>That’s the thing. It just happened. I would write a scene, figuring I could stop, but suddenly the next scene would come to me just like that. It’s like a mythical Muse sat on my shoulder directing my thoughts, telling me the story in my head. I knew in the back of my mind that there would be an <a href="http://blog.dawnsrise.com/2009/12/story-structure-part-viii-ordeal.html" target="_blank">Ordeal</a>. I knew there would be a Climactic scene at the end. I had about four ideas of where the story would go, but it went in its own direction.</p> <p>And frankly, I think it’s the best story (first-draft) I’ve written, way better than last year’s NaNoWriMo (Dead Air). </p> <p>I think part of it is becoming crucially aware of elements of story-telling such as <a href="http://sites.google.com/a/dawnsrise.com/heros-journey/">Story Structure</a>, Conflict, and Characterization. My characters have deep, desperate needs, fears, and desires. They are faced with impossible choices. And it doesn’t hurt that this is essentially a superhero story. Grett discovers she has secret powers…powers that can hurt the ones she loves if used improperly. So there’s the eternal temptation to use your superpowers to your advantage.Which is why my main character must have a firm moral grounding. It’s a classic YA theme.</p> <p>So now what? How do I feel about the whole plotting vs. pantsing debate? Pretty mixed. I think it helped that I planned this story to be short. There’s only one POV. There are very few subthreads. Maybe this is the way to go in the future. We’ll see. There have been some stories that I’ve pantsed (<a href="http://blog.dawnsrise.com/search/label/The%20Immortals" target="_blank">The Immortals</a>) that stalled because I didn’t know where the story should go. </p> <p>I guess the lesson here is just do what feels right.</p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-75912862744166320452011-05-23T10:35:00.001-07:002012-07-22T07:11:23.513-07:00So I Wrote Another Novel…In a Week…<p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_M3sVh6CiMfU/Tdqa-6I84GI/AAAAAAAAB6o/xkgVwrhedjk/s1600-h/alien%20hair%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="alien hair" border="0" alt="alien hair" align="right" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_M3sVh6CiMfU/Tdqa_PYD4II/AAAAAAAAB6s/CgslWRlr48s/alien%20hair_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="370" height="265"></a>The hell with <a href="http://nanowrimo.org/" target="_blank">NaNoWriMo</a>. Who needs 30 days when it only takes 10 or so?</p> <p>Yes, I’ve spent the last few days furiously writing a new story. Yeah, I was kind of planning to write this particular story for NaNo, but I’m taking a writing class and I thought it would be fun to bring in some new material instead of rehashing<em> </em><a href="http://blog.dawnsrise.com/search/label/Steam%20Palace" target="_blank"><em>Steam Palace</em></a> all the time. So I wrote a chapter a couple weeks ago. Then I had another opportunity to share and I started writing another chapter, and the concept hooked me so much that <em>I literally could not stop writing it</em>. </p> <p>Some of you might remember this post about my “Girl World” concept:<br><a href="http://blog.dawnsrise.com/2010/12/every-new-beginning.html" target="_blank">Every New Beginning</a></p> <p>Go ahead, re-read it. I’ll wait. Done? That’s the story I wrote. One female main character. Three female main supporting characters. About 10 more named female characters. One boy. One evil man. And a head of alien hair. 45K words (yeah, a little short for NaNo, but tons of space for revisions!)</p> <p>Here’s the three-sentence “teaser” I came up for it:</p> <blockquote> <p>When human/alien hybrid Grett Hawk has a bad hair day, her hair tries to strangle her and murder her classmates. It’s already infected her best friend with alien DNA behind her back. Grett must learn to master her alien side before it wrecks her family and invites a destructive alien invasion force into their city.</p></blockquote> <p>Yeah, I know. Where’s the “Girl World” part of it? <p>Let’s try a longer version. <blockquote> <p>After a devastating fire destroys her school, Grett Hawk, an ordinary warrior girl, must transfer to a exclusive academy full of stuck-up city princesses and scientific wizardesses. She’s intimidated until she discovers a secret—she can control the color, length, and texture of her own hair…and her hair responds to her thoughts. Her new wizardess friend Brin uncovers the truth: Grett is far from ordinary. She is an alien/human hybrid living in a city of humans, with the ability to alter any part of her body at will. But sometimes, her alien side takes over and acts without Grett’s conscious knowledge, such as injecting Brin with alien DNA…or trying to slice Brin’s head off when she gets too close to learning Grett’s true nature. Together, they seek to find out who Grett is and why she has been sent here, and why there is a boy in town with the same abilities as Grett, a boy whose kisses ignite the fire in Grett’s semi-alien heart.</p> <p>GIRL WORLD is a 45,000 word YA Science Fiction novel set in a far futuristic world where males are nearly extinct.</p></blockquote> <p>Okay, I don’t love that. Well, I still have a few revisions to go before I need to worry about a query letter. BTW that picture is how I imagine Brin and Grett…at least before Grett’s hair goes crazy.</p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-88007465036253457222011-04-29T10:42:00.001-07:002011-04-29T10:42:21.789-07:00I Won Script Frenzy 2011!<p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_M3sVh6CiMfU/Tbr4eeyt-vI/AAAAAAAAB6c/Ex7j-gucxlk/s1600-h/image%5B5%5D.png"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="image" border="0" alt="image" align="right" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_M3sVh6CiMfU/Tbr4exVcGOI/AAAAAAAAB6g/V9xImW-kEE4/image_thumb%5B6%5D.png?imgmax=800" width="264" height="351"></a>The final tally: 107 pages, with a day to spare. I probably wrote on ~20 of those days, since I went to a convention among other things.</p> <p>Not sure how I feel right now. Definitely glad to have a First Draft. Now I have a real clear roadmap as to what I want this story to be. I don’t have a specific revision plan for it yet, but here are some general steps:</p> <ul> <li>Let it rest for a few weeks at least. <li>Formulate a plan for revision. <li>Identify all areas requiring further research. <li>Send it to a couple alpha readers (mostly family) for revision ideas. <li>Research screenplay format so I can present the best screenplay I can (I kinda winged it). <li>Try to acquire more family stories to add more authenticity to it. Sometimes it’s the small details that matter.</li></ul> <p>Next week I’ll post some analysis of how I felt about screenplay <a href="http://sites.google.com/a/dawnsrise.com/heros-journey/">story structure</a> and how well I thought it worked. But for now I just want to sit back and enjoy my accomplishment. <img style="border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none" class="wlEmoticon wlEmoticon-smile" alt="Smile" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_M3sVh6CiMfU/Tbr4fOI_5_I/AAAAAAAAB6k/Yuu7ubK5kDY/wlEmoticon-smile%5B2%5D.png?imgmax=800"></p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-49325452801670054232011-04-18T10:25:00.001-07:002011-04-18T10:25:05.462-07:00Halfway to a Script<p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_M3sVh6CiMfU/Taxz7OKcyaI/AAAAAAAAB6U/wMQ-mHHoXQM/s1600-h/frogs%5B9%5D.gif"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="frogs" border="0" alt="frogs" align="right" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBjlsE84UpdZDZkblhGguwSkLX2gd-5hc6UCTlN4HF89LSVCEEyjpEm758RAxDsnx8dhiO0Af4K9bvJRW4MmEAGs1O_A6GJIyh43CA-IHg8NFVAxLuoPMWQRV-c5sJ4yk-2idE3I9G5dmB/?imgmax=800" width="380" height="363"></a>So far, who knows? Hard to believe all the things in my script already: Gambling schemes, train wrecks, spies, hostile insurgents, vicious soldiers, and religious overtones. And I’m only halfway. And since this is the 18th day of <a href="http://scriptfrenzy.org" target="_blank">Script Frenzy</a>…I’m actually behind.</p> <p>One thing I’m struggling with is scenes. My whole script is supposed to have ~40 scenes. I think I have ~50 so far. Part of this is how I define scene vs shot. It’s one of those screenwriting things I’ll have to learn. I think the trick is to make each scene do more and have fewer of them. Each scene should be ~3 pages. Revision’s going to be a bitch.</p> <p>Speaking of religion, I watched a show yesterday that tried to come up with rational, scientific explanations for the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plagues_of_Egypt" target="_blank">Ten Plagues</a> and some aspects of the story of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moses" target="_blank">Moses</a>. They provided explanations that derived from a sudden climate change that year, since most of the effects were biological (swarms, disease). Then at the end of a show, a rabbi came on and said (paraphrasing), “does it really matter that any of these things actually happened? The <em>story</em> is what’s important, and the lessons demonstrated therein. Scientific inquiry is all well and good, but it’s not what the story is <em>about</em>. It’s not going to teach you anything.” (For the record I disagree with that assessment because I think any line of legitimate scientific inquiry has merit…in this case it could be a lesson in the dangers of climate change.)</p> <p>This is what I’m doing with my own story. Does it really matter that I create an accurate accounting of my cousin’s journey? Should I just stick to the facts? Or is the important thing the story, the reasons for the journey and why the outcome is important? If we can look at the Bible as metaphorical rather than literal, then why not any history? A history book tells us the X, Y, and Z’s of who did what to whom. A <em>story</em> tells us why all these things happened and how they impacted the people who lived through those times. (Personally I think the Bible is more a series of stories based on certain events and folklore, but not an actual accounting of real events).</p> <p>The “story” of my cousin isn’t a list of events and travails. It’s the tale of a man trying to come to grips with his own sense of self, of remaining steadfast to a single goal, to persevere when it looks like all hope is lost (starting in approximately 20 pages from now). So I’m going to create events and characters that clearly demonstrate this commitment. </p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-60009148459815758782011-04-15T10:15:00.001-07:002011-04-15T10:16:00.440-07:00Pitch Contest<p>I’m posting the obligatory link to YAtopia’s Pitch Contest with Natalie Fischer.</p> <p><a href="http://yatopia.blogspot.com/2011/04/pitch-contest-with-natalie-fischer.html">http://yatopia.blogspot.com/2011/04/pitch-contest-with-natalie-fischer.html</a></p> <p>It’s open ‘til April 21 or first 150 entries.</p> <p>Good luck!</p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-34149058969212498842011-04-09T10:11:00.001-07:002011-04-09T10:11:57.371-07:00Lessons from Screenwriting: Act I<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQEMauhYA4Ou7EIZzaqTLDgpwhyydNLVkWHqRpCSJ5vOiOHlyucEPVok4ywdub7rn5rrDSqIdh9hk6ls-fccw2jXmhr48zaEqXkSHg9nhCOw9GkEKNIMeQmUCrypBWgzLAJXetiMQNhyphenhyphen3l/s1600-h/Screenwriting-101%5B4%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Screenwriting-101" border="0" alt="Screenwriting-101" align="right" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_M3sVh6CiMfU/TaCTXDkqGfI/AAAAAAAAB6Q/J86LtmZ0WNo/Screenwriting-101_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="400" height="320"></a>Well, it’s been an interesting 8 days so far. I’m a little bit behind, but I’m not concerned. It’s taking a while to really get this screenwriting thing going. It’s such a different medium than literature. Everything is so condensed, so every line is critical. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:</p> <ol> <li><strong>Screenwriting, like pimpin’, ain’t easy.</strong> There’s no convenient inner dialog, there’s almost no description, yet it requires the same emotional content as any writing. I’ve realized there’s something I call “embodied debate” where a character’s inner conflict must somehow be demonstrated with external action or dialog. It must be given voice. I have to create situations that demonstrate the internal struggle and the stakes, even if those situations never happened.</li> <li><strong>Show, don’t tell x 1000.</strong> I suppose a narrator could blab, or like Star Wars, a long bunch of words could introduce the scene: <em>In 1911, a young man sets foot on America, and over the next 9 years, blah blah blah. Then in 1920, he receives a letter. Open scene. <br></em>Meh. But, for instance, how do I reveal the content of the letter without just throwing it up on the screen? In a novel I could just include it. Here ya go. (Not to mention the fact that the letter was written in Yiddish).</li> <li><strong>Backstory? We don’t need no stinkin’ Backstory!</strong> Sure, I can throw dates up on the screen, do the whole “10 Years Ago in the Old Country” bit. Maybe I will upon revision. But I’m throwing it in like a drive-by shooting. Here a sentence, there an argument over the past. But it’s impossible to include an explanation of who the characters are, what their relationships are, what they do for a living, etc. It just needs to come out in the dialog.</li> <li>Nothing goes to plan. I spent a month thinking about all the scenes I could write. I looked at screenwriting books that screamed that I needed 40 scenes divided into fifteen major “beats”. <em>Whatevs</em>. Did I ever mention that I’m a natural pantser? Within the first couple days I threw out all the cards. Why? Because the story was boring, just a dude filling out paperwork and dealing with red tape. There was no emotional content, just a sense of vague frustration. This is a guy who has to go up against hostile forces and bad weather, not to mention backstabbing traitorous “friends.” Red tape bedamned! This is not a police procedural, it’s a gutsy drama. It’s not important how he gets the passport, what’s important is that he’s woefully unprepared for the journey. So show <em>that</em>.</li> <li><strong>Unlosing my religion.</strong> I’m not a religious person. The last time I went to a service outside a wedding or funeral was a 9/11 memorial service. I barely give a thought to the holidays. I don’t feel that my MC is particularly religious. But while doing the research for this story, I revisited Judaism, subjects and events that I hadn’t thought about since before my Bar Mitzvah when I was 13. Many of the major events of the story coincide with major Jewish holidays. While perhaps a coincidence, I can’t ignore this low-hanging fruit. So my MC may have a crisis of faith along with everything else that’s going on. It feels cheesy, but I can’t help but think that he’s going to experience an affirmation of his faith.</li></ol> <p>So what happened is that a couple days ago I was stuck; the story was going nowhere. I made a decision to just throw out about 8 pages and rewrite—something you’re technically not supposed to do during <a href="http://scriptfrenzy.org" target="_blank">Script Frenzy</a>. Whatevs. If the story isn’t working, do what you need to do to get it on track.</p> <p>Another thing I did was to make a decision about the style of the story. I know this isn’t “my” story. It’s the story of a cousin (2x removed) of mine. But the thing is, I have my own style. I write how I write. I’ve written SF, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steampunk" target="_blank">Steampunk</a>, Mystery, Spy Thrillers, etc., but they all have a similar feel. I realized that <em>I have to write how I write</em>. I have to write stories in the way that I enjoy, that motivate me. I needed to make this<em> my story</em>. My style, my pace, my types of conflicts. Once I made that decision, the pages suddenly started to flow. Characters crept out of the woodwork into importance. It may not be true to the “story”, but it’s true to <em>me</em>.</p> <p>So on to Act II. Wish me luck!</p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-87150131119438019272011-03-31T09:17:00.001-07:002011-03-31T09:17:49.421-07:00Script Frenzy!<p><a href="http://scriptfrenzy.org/eng/user/205454"><img style="margin: 0px auto 5px; display: block; float: none" title="ScriptFrenzy_468x60" alt="ScriptFrenzy_468x60" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_M3sVh6CiMfU/TZSpLDHA83I/AAAAAAAAB58/336PeNt_m7o/ScriptFrenzy_468x60%5B12%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="468" height="60"></a>Yes, like Yahoo! the name includes a bang (!).</p> <p><a href="http://scriptfrenzy.org/" target="_blank">Script Frenzy!</a> is a month-long excursion into the art of writing a screenplay. It’s sponsored by the same folks who bring us <a href="http://nanowrimo.org" target="_blank">NaNoWriMo</a>, but the goal is to write 100 pages of script in 30 days. Easy? Hard? Who knows, I’ve never written a script. </p> <p>For me, script writing has some key differences from novel writing. The first is length and scope. A script’s story is more compact. Much of the “story” is told through the camera. The length is equivalent to a 20,000 word story. Second, the POV is obviously 3rd cinematic, told only through dialog and action, therefore a character’s thoughts and motivations must be shown. Third, unlike telling a reader about concepts and themes, you’re giving a director and actors specific directions. And lastly, since the actual number of words in a script is so small, every single word must count. Every scene must have a purpose, every character must contribute and be essential.</p> <p>So wish me luck as I work towards that elusive 100 pages!<br><em>Click on the image above to “friend” me if you’re doing Script Frenzy too!</em></p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-22744117937294597662011-03-21T10:02:00.001-07:002011-03-21T10:02:35.685-07:00Interjections! Excitement! Emotion!<blockquote> <p><font size="3" face="Garamond"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYm5yGdzF34zN1iYrQHWfJsJIm0UBCyUGcllq1lAPRlLh7R18WxHwp-EPOQXaFF_KgurRd2tN2e5xs6_5IjtvjErgf42X6aQFwzimmLABHPOosHJujpOdlJydUWQmdC3zdGiNUb8-o6kw6/s1600-h/interjections%5B4%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="interjections" border="0" alt="interjections" align="right" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8OOM6K5-IQ2QZRam2n-V8qofJwWQdnye9HvFQ7rXZHJXPrK3cwLghuz8eDamu5iNf_kSHj6S8V_6c8u5vN-lE6b06cC8A8Vc9qdzP5mdE2D2r57-pxaksECWug8SXjxlmDk-1B59upFWY/?imgmax=800" width="267" height="276"></a>Interjections (<b>Aw!</b>) show excitement (<b>Darn!</b>) or emotion (<b>Hurray!</b>).<br>They're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point,<br>Or by a comma when the feeling's not as strong.<br></font> –<a href="http://www.schoolhouserock.tv/Interjections.html" target="_blank"><em>Schoolhouse Rock</em></a></p></blockquote> <p>Well, it’s time for a little bit of honesty here. After all the excitement! of getting requests for<em> </em><a href="http://blog.dawnsrise.com/search/label/Steam%20Palace" target="_blank"><em>Steam Palace</em></a> from agents, the response so far has been less than enthusiastic. Damn! <p>A couple of the rejections have been nice without any kind of feedback except the “it’s not quite right for me” to the depressing “needs editing, show don’t tell” kind. I’m still waiting to hear back from a few more agents, but I’m getting the sense that it’s not quite “there” yet. Flibbertigibbet! <p>I had another epiphany last week during during a local talk by Bill Kenower, editor of <a href="http://www.authormagazine.org/index.htm" target="_blank">Author Magazine</a>. He was talking about the “Rules of Writing” (BTW one of his is, “there are no rules”), and he presented this one: <ul> <li><strong>Feel First, Write Second</strong></li></ul> <p>Which is to say, “write the emotional change(journey) of the character, not the physical change of the scene.” I went, “huh?” I’d never thought of it that way. I’m a procedural, “this happens then that then he says this etc.” Like a programmer: <font face="Courier New">x=x+1;</font></p> <p>Here’s what he said (paraphrasing): “What does it <i>feel like</i> for your POV character to do all these things in a scene? Don’t just report on the rain, let the reader know what the rain <em>feels like</em>.” <p>I don’t know what happened, but I had a “light bulb” moment. Yes! I’ve been aware of “show don’t tell” for a long time, and really struggled with it (as do many writers) because my mind pictures the activity of the scene as if I’m a faraway observer. I’ve thought about putting a “camera” over a character’s shoulder, in their eyes, above the room, but I now see that maybe all those directions are wrong. Consarnit!</p> <p>Maybe what I need to do is turn the damn! camera around and point it at my POV character’s <em>heart</em>. And keep it pointed there. Because what happens outside of their heart doesn’t matter. Maybe this is a key piece of “show, don’t tell” (or <a href="http://jordanmccollum.com/2009/07/deep-pov/" target="_blank">deep POV</a>). </p> <p>So I went through a scene and added all kinds of emotive language. The scene now just feels different. It doesn’t read like my writing, and I feel like I’m being hammered with my character’s emotions. The thing I’m worried about is that all this new emotive language is just telling on a new level—telling the reader the emotions. Curses!</p> <p>So the jury’s still out. I don’t think that this is my only issue with Steam Palace but at least it’s something I can work on.(Reducing word count, scene transitions, suspension of disbelief are some other issues, For the Love of All that is Holy!).</p> <blockquote> <p><font size="3" face="Garamond">Interjections show excitement or emotion,<br>Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah... YEA!</font> <p><b><font size="3" face="Garamond">Darn! That's the end!</font></b></p></blockquote> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111229284977476511.post-17077116277136603112011-03-16T09:08:00.001-07:002011-03-16T09:11:23.286-07:00Writing a Script<p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_M3sVh6CiMfU/TYDgfmeTyFI/AAAAAAAAB5s/sChB1TzAuAI/s1600-h/Film-Script-Writing%5B6%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 5px 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Film-Script-Writing" border="0" alt="Film-Script-Writing" align="right" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_M3sVh6CiMfU/TYDggOm4SqI/AAAAAAAAB5w/VUFPP-27nqM/Film-Script-Writing_thumb%5B4%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="350" height="280"></a>So in preparation for writing a script for my History Story, I’ve been been practicing by trying to script out scenes from <a href="http://blog.dawnsrise.com/search/label/Steam%20Palace" target="_blank">Steam Palace</a>. Below is my attempt at the first scene. You can read the original scene <a href="http://blog.writerunner.com/p/steam-palace-first-scene.html" target="_blank">here</a>. Here are my observations about the process so far. </p> <ol> <li>It took me 4 pages to script out 5 written pages. Since my ms. is 386 pages, that translates to a ~300 page script, the equivalent of a 5-hour movie (miniseries?). </li> <li>My novel has 97 scenes. A movie script is ~40. I’d have to cut over half my scenes…which may also help figuring out how to reduce my novel down to 100K words. Still, it’s a lot of story to leave out.</li> <li>I’ve been reading some scripts for major motion pictures. These are available online through sites like <a href="http://www.simplyscripts.com">http://www.simplyscripts.com</a>, <a href="http://www.imsdb.com">http://www.imsdb.com</a>, <a href="http://www.scifiscripts.com">http://www.scifiscripts.com</a>. I’ve found that scripts aren’t the dry, emotionless set of directions I thought they were. Here’s an example from <a href="http://www.scifiscripts.com/scripts/JurassicPark_1stDraft.txt" target="_blank">Jurassic Park</a>:</li> <ol><pre>Lodged in the cracked earth are the partially-exposed fossilized remains<br />of A VELOCIRAPTER, a carnivorous dinosaur. WIDEN OUT to a SWEEPING<br />PANORAMA of a dinosaur dig, a major excavation filled with workers<br />shoveling earth and stone, making measurements, taking photographs,<br />scribbling notes, and conferring with each other.<br /><br />The center of all this activity is one man. In a roped-off area that<br />circumscribes the exposed bones of the raptor, is DR. ALAN GRANT, head<br />paleontologist. Good-looking, late 30's, with a think beard.<br /><br />Grant lies on his belly, completely absorbed in a small piece of bone.<br />A GROUP OF TWELVE STUDENTS, notebooks in hand, await his next sentence.</pre></ol><br /><li>I felt I needed to add something to the scene. In my original scene, I don’t include Dunstan, the evil Duke. But from studying movies for the last few weeks, I realize that it’s critical that the “enemy” be introduced as early as possible. The audience needs to be able to identify the conflict and stakes right away. I also thought it might be a good way to show the audience the significance of Thomas’ act in saving the Queen. </li><br /><li>It was actually pretty fun picturing the scene as a movie scene. I think it also helps by showing me what’s truly important in a scene. I don’t plan to script the entire novel, but just to use some scenes as practice.</li></ol><br /><p>So here is the script I came up with. Sorry for the horrible formatting.<br><font size="2" face="Courier New"> EXT. HIGH ABOVE GROUND- DAY </font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> AIRMAN peers through a scope from the bow of a gondola. A<br> white dirigible balloon suspends the gondola. He takes notes.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"></font> </p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> WE ZOOM THROUGH SCOPE to focus on second airship just above<br> the horizon.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> The second airship dissolves in a burst of flames and drops<br> to the forest below. A boom sounds many seconds later. </font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"></font> </p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> RETURN BACK TO AIRMAN's face. He is horrified</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> AIRMAN pulls levers and we hear a loud mechanical hum.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> CUT TO:</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"></font> </p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> FOREST CLEARING</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"></font> </p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> PAN OVER burning wreckage and mangled bodies.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> We hear a hum then an airship descends. AIRMAN jumps out and<br> examines bodies, all dead. Many are burned or dismembered. He<br> finds two bodies with throats cut, obviously not from crash.<br> He pulls out his weapon and assumes a defensive posture. He<br> examines grass with bloodstains and trots off.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> CUT TO:</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"></font> </p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> DEEP FOREST</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> AIRMAN finds an 8-legged crawling war-machine with mounted<br> cannon pointing toward smoking wreckage. Machine carries Nazi<br> like markings. </font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> In the distance we hear tortured screams.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> AIRMAN turns and advances toward a black hole in ground. </font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> MALE VOICE (O.S., EUROPEAN ACCENT)<br> You will provide us the location of<br> the Sea Key. We know the Southland<br> hides it.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> FEMALE VOICE (O.S., SOUTHERN ACCENT)<br> (tortured)<br> There ain't no such thing. It's a<br> myth.<br> 2.</font></p><br /><p><br><font size="2" face="Courier New"> FOLLOW AIRMAN<br> INTO:</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"></font> </p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> INT. DARK CAVE</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> Visible are: QUEEN MAGNOLIA, a black woman impaled by a<br> infernal torture device with spikes and with her clothing in<br> bloody remnants; REICHLAND CAPTAIN wearing Nazi-like uniform<br> operates device; and REICHLAND DOCTOR tends two wounded men<br> on the floor. Flickering torches provide light. AIRMAN hides<br> and watches. </font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> Quietly AIRMAN checks his weapon. He winces at the screams of<br> the woman. His breath quickens, his hand tightens. His head<br> nods as if rehearsing his moves.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> AIRMAN jumps into room, fires at: CAPTAIN, DOCTOR, then two<br> wounded men. CAPTAIN and DOCTOR slide to floor. QUEEN<br> MAGNOLIA gasps in pain, unable to speak. AIRMAN holsters<br> weapon and examines the torture device. He pulls a lever to<br> release her and QUEEN MAGNOLIA stumbles forward. He catches<br> her in his arms. They embrace as she sobs.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> AIRMAN<br> Please, Your Majesty, I must wrap<br> your wounds.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> QUEEN MAGNOLIA nods and releases him. AIRMAN finds a medical<br> bag and pulls out supplies. QUEEN MAGNOLIA stumbles into a<br> chair, fighting for calm. He wraps her bleeding torso with<br> infinite care and respect. He stops when her reaches her<br> breasts, but she cringes and nods. He finishes.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> AIRMAN (CONT'D)<br> I must protect your modesty.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> He pulls off his jacket and helps her into it.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> QUEEN MAGNOLIA<br> Thank you kindly.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> AIRMAN<br> My Queen, pardon my insolence, but<br> I must inform you--I intend to hold<br> you prisoner in the name of my lord<br> Duke Killingworth.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> Her face turns to rage.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> QUEEN MAGNOLIA<br> You rescued me only to go capture<br> me yourself? What kinda soldier are<br> you? Where's your loyalty?<br> 3.</font></p><br /><p><br><font size="2" face="Courier New"> AIRMAN<br> (solicitiously)<br> My deepest apologies. The Duke<br> would have my head if I lost this<br> opportunity.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> She spits blood on the ground.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> QUEEN MAGNOLIA<br> And what would your King do to you<br> when he discovers this here<br> treachery?</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> AIRMAN blinks. </font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"></font> </p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> ZOOM AWAY DOWN TO ENEMY SOLDIER. </font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> WOUNDED ENEMY on the ground shakily lifts up a revolver and<br> shoots. Blood explodes from AIRMAN's knee. He falls. QUEEN<br> MAGNOLIA pulls gun from AIRMAN's holster and dispatches<br> WOUNDED ENEMY. She turns the gun back to AIRMAN.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> QUEEN MAGNOLIA (CONT'D)<br> Oh lord, oh lord.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> AIRMAN holds out hand to her in self-defense. He gasps in<br> pain.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> AIRMAN<br> Please. Take my flyer. Can you<br> pilot?</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> QUEEN MAGNOLIA nods.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> AIRMAN (CONT'D)<br> It is back where you crashed. Fly<br> west to the river and then south to<br> New York. Hurry, the Duke is en<br> route. I swear if you do this, you<br> can evade him and return to the<br> king.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> QUEEN MAGNOLIA hesitates, then stumbles from the cave. AIRMAN<br> wraps his knee. Something glistens in the corner. He slides<br> over and grasps it. It is a blue pendant in the shape of a<br> swan. He stashes it in his clothes and then appears to sleep.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> FADE TO BLACK.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"></font> </p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> EXT. OUTSIDE OF CAVE</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> Two men in the same uniform as the AIRMAN hold him on his<br> feet.<br> 4.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> AIRMAN is in obvious pain and cannot put weight on his<br> injured left leg. A man in a regal uniform approaches him-<br> the Duke (DUNSTAN). DUNSTAN slaps AIRMAN in the face. A<br> trickle of blood seeps from the AIRMAN's mouth.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> DUNSTAN<br> (enraged)<br> How could you? How could you allow<br> the Demon Queen to escape? The very<br> witch who seduced our King? Did she<br> use her witchcraft upon you?</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> AIRMAN's shakes head and cringes, fearing another blow.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> DUNSTAN (CONT'D)<br> Captain Thomas Putnam, you are a<br> disgrace to your uniform. You are<br> hereby stripped of your commission<br> and discharged from the Aivy. That<br> Demon Queen has obviously corrupted<br> you and you are of no further use<br> to me.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> The men throw THOMAS to the ground. THOMAS holds his knee.<br> The men walk off.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> THOMAS<br> (defiant)<br> She is no demon! She is a flesh and<br> blood woman! We cannot continue<br> this persecution!</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> DUNSTAN<br> (pointing)<br> We will continue it until that<br> Demon lies dead at my feet and I<br> take my rightful place on the<br> throne of New Britannia.</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> DISSOLVE TO:</font></p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"></font> </p><br /><p><font size="2" face="Courier New"> EXT. MILKING STATION ON FARM<br></font></p> Andrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com1