I Won Script Frenzy 2011!

The final tally: 107 pages, with a day to spare. I probably wrote on ~20 of those days, since I went to a convention among other things.

Not sure how I feel right now. Definitely glad to have a First Draft. Now I have a real clear roadmap as to what I want this story to be. I don’t have a specific revision plan for it yet, but here are some general steps:

• Let it rest for a few weeks at least.
• Formulate a plan for revision.
• Identify all areas requiring further research.
• Send it to a couple alpha readers (mostly family) for revision ideas.
• Research screenplay format so I can present the best screenplay I can (I kinda winged it).
• Try to acquire more family stories to add more authenticity to it. Sometimes it’s the small details that matter.

Next week I’ll post some analysis of how I felt about screenplay story structure and how well I thought it worked. But for now I just want to sit back and enjoy my accomplishment.

Halfway to a Script

So far, who knows? Hard to believe all the things in my script already: Gambling schemes, train wrecks, spies, hostile insurgents, vicious soldiers, and religious overtones. And I’m only halfway. And since this is the 18th day of Script Frenzy…I’m actually behind.

One thing I’m struggling with is scenes. My whole script is supposed to have ~40 scenes. I think I have ~50 so far. Part of this is how I define scene vs shot. It’s one of those screenwriting things I’ll have to learn. I think the trick is to make each scene do more and have fewer of them. Each scene should be ~3 pages. Revision’s going to be a bitch.

Speaking of religion, I watched a show yesterday that tried to come up with rational, scientific explanations for the Ten Plagues and some aspects of the story of Moses. They provided explanations that derived from a sudden climate change that year, since most of the effects were biological (swarms, disease). Then at the end of a show, a rabbi came on and said (paraphrasing), “does it really matter that any of these things actually happened? The story is what’s important, and the lessons demonstrated therein. Scientific inquiry is all well and good, but it’s not what the story is about. It’s not going to teach you anything.” (For the record I disagree with that assessment because I think any line of legitimate scientific inquiry has merit…in this case it could be a lesson in the dangers of climate change.)

This is what I’m doing with my own story. Does it really matter that I create an accurate accounting of my cousin’s journey? Should I just stick to the facts? Or is the important thing the story, the reasons for the journey and why the outcome is important? If we can look at the Bible as metaphorical rather than literal, then why not any history? A history book tells us the X, Y, and Z’s of who did what to whom. A story tells us why all these things happened and how they impacted the people who lived through those times. (Personally I think the Bible is more a series of stories based on certain events and folklore, but not an actual accounting of real events).

The “story” of my cousin isn’t a list of events and travails. It’s the tale of a man trying to come to grips with his own sense of self, of remaining steadfast to a single goal, to persevere when it looks like all hope is lost (starting in approximately 20 pages from now). So I’m going to create events and characters that clearly demonstrate this commitment.

Lessons from Screenwriting: Act I

Well, it’s been an interesting 8 days so far. I’m a little bit behind, but I’m not concerned. It’s taking a while to really get this screenwriting thing going. It’s such a different medium than literature. Everything is so condensed, so every line is critical. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

1. Screenwriting, like pimpin’, ain’t easy. There’s no convenient inner dialog, there’s almost no description, yet it requires the same emotional content as any writing. I’ve realized there’s something I call “embodied debate” where a character’s inner conflict must somehow be demonstrated with external action or dialog. It must be given voice. I have to create situations that demonstrate the internal struggle and the stakes, even if those situations never happened.
2. Show, don’t tell x 1000. I suppose a narrator could blab, or like Star Wars, a long bunch of words could introduce the scene: In 1911, a young man sets foot on America, and over the next 9 years, blah blah blah. Then in 1920, he receives a letter. Open scene.
   Meh. But, for instance, how do I reveal the content of the letter without just throwing it up on the screen? In a novel I could just include it. Here ya go. (Not to mention the fact that the letter was written in Yiddish).
3. Backstory? We don’t need no stinkin’ Backstory! Sure, I can throw dates up on the screen, do the whole “10 Years Ago in the Old Country” bit. Maybe I will upon revision. But I’m throwing it in like a drive-by shooting. Here a sentence, there an argument over the past. But it’s impossible to include an explanation of who the characters are, what their relationships are, what they do for a living, etc. It just needs to come out in the dialog.
4. Nothing goes to plan. I spent a month thinking about all the scenes I could write. I looked at screenwriting books that screamed that I needed 40 scenes divided into fifteen major “beats”. Whatevs. Did I ever mention that I’m a natural pantser? Within the first couple days I threw out all the cards. Why? Because the story was boring, just a dude filling out paperwork and dealing with red tape. There was no emotional content, just a sense of vague frustration. This is a guy who has to go up against hostile forces and bad weather, not to mention backstabbing traitorous “friends.” Red tape bedamned! This is not a police procedural, it’s a gutsy drama. It’s not important how he gets the passport, what’s important is that he’s woefully unprepared for the  journey. So show that.
5. Unlosing my religion. I’m not a religious person. The last time I went to a service outside a wedding or funeral was a 9/11 memorial service. I barely give a thought to the holidays. I don’t feel that my MC is particularly religious. But while doing the research for this story, I revisited Judaism, subjects and events that I hadn’t thought about since before my Bar Mitzvah when I was 13. Many of the major events of the story coincide with major Jewish holidays. While perhaps a coincidence, I can’t ignore this low-hanging fruit. So my MC may have a crisis of faith along with everything else that’s going on. It feels cheesy, but I can’t help but think that he’s going to experience an affirmation of his faith.

So what happened is that a couple days ago I was stuck; the story was going nowhere. I made a decision to just throw out about 8 pages and rewrite—something you’re technically not supposed to do during Script Frenzy. Whatevs. If the story isn’t working, do what you need to do to get it on track.

Another thing I did was to make a decision about the style of the story. I know this isn’t “my” story. It’s the story of a cousin (2x removed) of mine. But the thing is, I have my own style. I write how I write. I’ve written SF, Steampunk, Mystery, Spy Thrillers, etc., but they all have a similar feel. I realized that I have to write how I write. I have to write stories in the way that I enjoy, that motivate me. I needed to make this my story. My style, my pace, my types of conflicts. Once I made that decision, the pages suddenly started to flow. Characters crept out of the woodwork into importance. It may not be true to the “story”, but it’s true to me.

So on to Act II. Wish me luck!

Script Frenzy!

Yes, like Yahoo! the name includes a bang (!).

Script Frenzy! is a month-long excursion into the art of writing a screenplay. It’s sponsored by the same folks who bring us NaNoWriMo, but the goal is to write 100 pages of script in 30 days. Easy? Hard? Who knows, I’ve never written a script.

For me, script writing has some key differences from novel writing. The first is length and scope. A script’s story is more compact. Much of the “story” is told through the camera. The length is equivalent to a 20,000 word story. Second, the POV is obviously 3rd cinematic, told only through dialog and action, therefore a character’s thoughts and motivations must be shown. Third, unlike telling a reader about concepts and themes, you’re giving a director and actors specific directions. And lastly, since the actual number of words in a script is so small, every single word must count. Every scene must have a purpose, every character must contribute and be essential.

So wish me luck as I work towards that elusive 100 pages!
Click on the image above to “friend” me if you’re doing Script Frenzy too!

Writing a Script

So in preparation for writing a script for my History Story, I’ve been been practicing by trying to script out scenes from Steam Palace. Below is my attempt at the first scene. You can read the original scene here. Here are my observations about the process so far.

1. It took me 4 pages to script out 5 written pages. Since my ms. is 386 pages, that translates to a ~300 page script, the equivalent of a 5-hour movie (miniseries?).
2. My novel has 97 scenes. A movie script is ~40. I’d have to cut over half my scenes…which may also help figuring out how to reduce my novel down to 100K words. Still, it’s a lot of story to leave out.
3. I’ve been reading some scripts for major motion pictures. These are available online through sites like http://www.simplyscripts.com, http://www.imsdb.com, http://www.scifiscripts.com. I’ve found that scripts aren’t the dry, emotionless set of directions I thought they were. Here’s an example from Jurassic Park:

Lodged in the cracked earth are the partially-exposed fossilized remains
of A VELOCIRAPTER, a carnivorous dinosaur.  WIDEN OUT to a SWEEPING
PANORAMA of a dinosaur dig, a major excavation filled with workers
shoveling earth and stone, making measurements, taking photographs,
scribbling notes, and conferring with each other.

The center of all this activity is one man.  In a roped-off area that
circumscribes the exposed bones of the raptor, is DR. ALAN GRANT, head
paleontologist.  Good-looking, late 30's, with a think beard.

Grant lies on his belly, completely absorbed in a small piece of bone.
A GROUP OF TWELVE STUDENTS, notebooks in hand, await his next sentence.



4. I felt I needed to add something to the scene. In my original scene, I don’t include Dunstan, the evil Duke. But from studying movies for the last few weeks, I realize that it’s critical that the “enemy” be introduced as early as possible. The audience needs to be able to identify the conflict and stakes right away. I also thought it might be a good way to show the audience the significance of Thomas’ act in saving the Queen.


5. It was actually pretty fun picturing the scene as a movie scene. I think it also helps by showing me what’s truly important in a scene. I don’t plan to script the entire novel, but just to use some scenes as practice.

So here is the script I came up with. Sorry for the horrible formatting.
               EXT. HIGH ABOVE GROUND- DAY

               AIRMAN peers through a scope from the bow of a gondola. A
               white dirigible balloon suspends the gondola. He takes notes.

 

               WE ZOOM THROUGH SCOPE to focus on second airship just above
               the horizon.

               The second airship dissolves in a burst of flames and drops
               to the forest below. A boom sounds many seconds later.

 

               RETURN BACK TO AIRMAN's face. He is horrified

               AIRMAN pulls levers and we hear a loud mechanical hum.

                                                                CUT TO:

 

               FOREST CLEARING

 

               PAN OVER burning wreckage and mangled bodies.

               We hear a hum then an airship descends. AIRMAN jumps out and
               examines bodies, all dead. Many are burned or dismembered. He
               finds two bodies with throats cut, obviously not from crash.
               He pulls out his weapon and assumes a defensive posture. He
               examines grass with bloodstains and trots off.

                                                                CUT TO:

 

               DEEP FOREST

               AIRMAN finds an 8-legged crawling war-machine with mounted
               cannon pointing toward smoking wreckage. Machine carries Nazi
               like markings.

               In the distance we hear tortured screams.

               AIRMAN turns and advances toward a black hole in ground.

                                   MALE VOICE (O.S., EUROPEAN ACCENT)
                         You will provide us the location of
                         the Sea Key. We know the Southland
                         hides it.

                                   FEMALE VOICE (O.S., SOUTHERN ACCENT)
                             (tortured)
                         There ain't no such thing. It's a
                         myth.
                                                                          2.

                                                          FOLLOW AIRMAN
                                                                  INTO:

 

               INT. DARK CAVE

               Visible are: QUEEN MAGNOLIA, a black woman impaled by a
               infernal torture device with spikes and with her clothing in
               bloody remnants; REICHLAND CAPTAIN wearing Nazi-like uniform
               operates device; and REICHLAND DOCTOR tends two wounded men
               on the floor. Flickering torches provide light. AIRMAN hides
               and watches.

               Quietly AIRMAN checks his weapon. He winces at the screams of
               the woman. His breath quickens, his hand tightens. His head
               nods as if rehearsing his moves.

               AIRMAN jumps into room, fires at: CAPTAIN,  DOCTOR, then two
               wounded men. CAPTAIN and DOCTOR slide to floor. QUEEN
               MAGNOLIA gasps in pain, unable to speak. AIRMAN holsters
               weapon and examines the torture device. He pulls a lever to
               release her and QUEEN MAGNOLIA stumbles forward. He catches
               her in his arms. They embrace as she sobs.

                                   AIRMAN
                         Please, Your Majesty, I must wrap
                         your wounds.

               QUEEN MAGNOLIA nods and releases him. AIRMAN finds a medical
               bag and pulls out supplies. QUEEN MAGNOLIA stumbles into a
               chair, fighting for calm. He wraps her bleeding torso with
               infinite care and respect. He stops when her reaches her
               breasts, but she cringes and nods. He finishes.

                                   AIRMAN (CONT'D)
                         I must protect your modesty.

               He pulls off his jacket and helps her into it.

                                   QUEEN MAGNOLIA
                         Thank you kindly.

                                   AIRMAN
                         My Queen, pardon my insolence, but
                         I must inform you--I intend to hold
                         you prisoner in the name of my lord
                         Duke Killingworth.

               Her face turns to rage.

                                   QUEEN MAGNOLIA
                         You rescued me only to go capture
                         me yourself? What kinda soldier are
                         you? Where's your loyalty?
                                                                          3.

                                   AIRMAN
                             (solicitiously)
                         My deepest apologies. The Duke
                         would have my head if I lost this
                         opportunity.

               She spits blood on the ground.

                                   QUEEN MAGNOLIA
                         And what would your King do to you
                         when he discovers this here
                         treachery?

               AIRMAN blinks.

 

               ZOOM AWAY DOWN TO ENEMY SOLDIER.

               WOUNDED ENEMY on the ground shakily lifts up a revolver and
               shoots. Blood explodes from AIRMAN's knee. He falls. QUEEN
               MAGNOLIA pulls gun from AIRMAN's holster and dispatches
               WOUNDED ENEMY. She turns the gun back to AIRMAN.

                                   QUEEN MAGNOLIA (CONT'D)
                         Oh lord, oh lord.

               AIRMAN holds out hand to her in self-defense. He gasps in
               pain.

                                   AIRMAN
                         Please. Take my flyer. Can you
                         pilot?

               QUEEN MAGNOLIA nods.

                                   AIRMAN (CONT'D)
                         It is back where you crashed. Fly
                         west to the river and then south to
                         New York. Hurry, the Duke is en
                         route. I swear if you do this, you
                         can evade him and return to the
                         king.

               QUEEN MAGNOLIA hesitates, then stumbles from the cave. AIRMAN
               wraps his knee. Something glistens in the corner. He slides
               over and grasps it. It is a blue pendant in the shape of a
               swan. He stashes it in his clothes and then appears to sleep.

                                                         FADE TO BLACK.

 

               EXT. OUTSIDE OF CAVE

               Two men in the same uniform as the AIRMAN hold him on his
               feet.
                                                                          4.

               AIRMAN is in obvious pain and cannot put weight on his
               injured left leg. A man in a regal uniform approaches him-
               the Duke (DUNSTAN).  DUNSTAN slaps AIRMAN in the face. A
               trickle of blood seeps from the AIRMAN's mouth.

                                   DUNSTAN
                             (enraged)
                         How could you? How could you allow
                         the Demon Queen to escape? The very
                         witch who seduced our King? Did she
                         use her witchcraft upon you?

               AIRMAN's shakes head and cringes, fearing another blow.

                                   DUNSTAN (CONT'D)
                         Captain Thomas Putnam, you are a
                         disgrace to your uniform. You are
                         hereby stripped of your commission
                         and discharged from the Aivy. That
                         Demon Queen has obviously corrupted
                         you and you are of no further use
                         to me.

               The men throw THOMAS to the ground. THOMAS holds his knee.
               The men walk off.

                                   THOMAS
                             (defiant)
                         She is no demon! She is a flesh and
                         blood woman! We cannot continue
                         this persecution!

                                   DUNSTAN
                             (pointing)
                         We will continue it until that
                         Demon lies dead at my feet and I
                         take my rightful place on the
                         throne of New Britannia.

                                                           DISSOLVE TO:

 

               EXT. MILKING STATION ON FARM

Movie Sign!

Just want to start out by saying that our thoughts and prayers are with the people of Japan today as they deal with the earthquake and tsunami that hit them. Japanese popular culture seems riveted with the concept of disaster but no one actually wants it to happen. Please consider a donation to the Red Cross.

Movie Sign!

I’ve been going ahead with the idea of writing a movie script for the History Story I’m working on. I have a couple reasons for this:

1. I feel that this is really a visual story with movement and action. It’s something that falls well into the movie format.
2. Writing a novel may take more time than I’m willing to spend on the project.
3. A lot of people have commented that my style is a bit “cinematic” so why not put it to the test? Probably not the greatest reason but it’s given my something to think about.
4. The potential upside is greater.

One of the things I’ve done is read the scripting book “Save the Cat” by Blake Snyder. One of the exercises he suggests (among others) is to plot movies on a sheet of paper (a “beat sheet”) which contains all the major plot points. So for the last few mornings, I’ve sat with a form and watched Netflix movies and paused the movie every couple of minutes to make notes (which drives wife crazy). And amazingly enough, movies actually do follow the “beat” that Snyder has laid out. Almost down to the minute.

Note that many movies have a “beat” every ten minutes…when the reel changes (you can see a dot in the upper right corner of the film when this happens…but only in theaters). So the first reel is “setup”(Ordinary World), 2nd reel is “inciting incident,” and third is “break into Act II” (Crossing the First Threshold). There are 12 beats in all. Note that when the reel changes, the scene generally changes as well. Also note that the beats don’t correspond to the 12 steps of the Hero’s Journey.

So far I’ve screened Defiance, Gamer, and Vertical Limit. I’m trying to stick to adventure-type movies as sort of a blueprint for my own movies. So far I’ve learned a lot. I think I’m going to develop a beat sheet for novels as well, and fill them out when I read them. Have any suggestions? (that I can see on Netflix steaming)

The next step will be more complicated. I may take a couple movies and do a scene-by-scene breakdown and build a movie chart that maps the movie by emotion and conflict. It will be tough but I think I can learn this. I’ll have to say that I’m probably never going to view movies the same again.